Armageddon

Well, kids, this is it. Roy vs. Kansas. In the Final 4. You knew it had to happen sometime, and of course the basketball Gods decide to give us this matchup in the national semifinals. When both teams are playing amazing ball (except for an 8-minute stretch against Louisville for UNC, and a 40-minute stretch against Davidson for KU.) As if this wasn't a big enough game already...

Until I saw Bergman's comment from the previous post, this post was sure to be a rambling, completely incoherent blurb about my former love for Roy and yada yada yada. Now, since he gave me some questions to base things on, it will only be a semi-rambling, semi-coherent blurb.

Quick back story for the non-college-basketball-fans (let's pretend for a second that are actually some of them out there who have continued to stick with this blog for the last month): Roy used to coach KU, for 15 years. He was one of the most beloved coaches in the country. However, while he had Kansas in his heart, he had North Carolina blood coursing through his veins. Roy almost left for UNC in 2000, then gave a tearful, heart-felt speech turning down the job, saying he was a Jayhawk for life. Flash forward 3 years. Following a heart-breaking title game loss, Roy is asked if he is interested in the once-again-vacant UNC head coaching position. Roy replies, on national TV, "I don't give a shit about Carolina." Flash forward 1 week. Roy takes the Carolina job. Flash forward 2 years. Roy wins that national championship that proved so elusive while at KU.

First off, no, I will not be cheering any harder since this game is against Roy. The buildup will be more intense, making this probably the most intense sporting event in my life (that's scary huh Alex? Hope you have bail money put aside for tomorrow night), but every win in the Final 4 is special, whether or not we're playing Roy and/or UNC. My favorite moment as a KU fan was the semifinal win over Marquette in '03, and it is why I have a framed portrait of that game in my office. (We also threw a pretty decent rager at Culligan that night, featuring the girls from Minneapolis that St. Aubyn, Fundy, and Russell met in Cancun. Anybody remember that? I was blaaaaacked out!) I will be crushed if we lose this game, but no more crushed than when we lost to 'Cuse in '03, or Maryland in '02, or Bucknell in '05, or Rhode Island in '98, or Arizona in '97, etc. etc. you get the point.

On the same token, no, even if we win this game but lose the title game, it will not make things OK. Beating Roy in the semis will give me no consolation if we can't win the whole shebangabang. That will only help me for shit-talking purposes against all the Carolina fans that I'm friends with (and Baby Jesus knows there are a lot of them.)

However, on the other hand, will I still hate Roy if we do win the natty this year? That's a great question, one that I can't completely answer right now. As of this moment, I would be inclined to say not as much, no. That has more to do with just being at peace as a KU fan in general, however, than my hatred of Roy. I will not suddenly like Roy again, but if we win it all, a lot of basketball-related things I have bitterness towards (Roy, Gerry McNamara going unconscious, Bucknell, Keith Langford's bullshit foul call, shooting 12-30 from the free throw line, Juan Dixon, Lamar Odom, Mike Bibby & Miles Simon, Grant Hill's amazing dunk) will be diminished. That's just reality.

Since this is my only basis of comparison as far as my teams winning championships, and since it is a pretty decent analogy anyway, I liken this to the Red Sox in 2004 (the whole Roy to Carolina thing mirrors the Johnny Damon to the Yankees scenario, too, doesn't it?) Looking back on it now, yeah, it makes it sweeter that they came back from 0-3 down in the ALCS, and that it was against the Yankees, but at the time, all I was cheering for was a win. After Game 7, when it all sunk in what just happened, it became more special, but when you're in the moment, all you want is for your team to win, not for someone else to lose. So basically once the ball tips on Saturday night, all the Roy stuff goes out the window. However, having said ALL THAT, I would LOVE to see this image on a television set Saturday night:

Holy as I'm re-reading this right now, this is probably the worst thing I have ever written, as far as quality writing is concerned. Fuck it I'm not editing it. Can you tell I'm delirious about this game right now? That is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever written in my whole life. At no point am I anywhere near anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read that. I award myself no points, and may God have mercy on my soul. Fuck it, dude. Let's get this game started.

"A simple 'wrong' would've done just fine."

Feisty Marlins

So I had a loooong day at work yesterday, and all I wanted to do was come home, fire off a couple of games of MVP Baseball on the Deuce, and go to bed. Instead, in the first game, the Marlins hit a three-run homer in the bottom of the 9th to send it to extras, and I eventually lose in the 13th. Then, in the second game, I put a run across three separate times in extras, only to watch those damn scrappy Marlins tie it in their half of the inning each time. An hour and 15 minutes after I begin the game, I finally win in 21 innings, and then of course I can't fall asleep cause I'm too fired up. I may have even had a nightmare that I had completely run out of pitchers, and so I had Doug Mientkiewicz warming up in the bullpen...but I'm not sure. So anyways, now I'm dragging ass this morning.

It's a rough life I live, I know.

Hansbrough & Redick

Wow, that was an absolutely fantastic comment that the Chuckwagon left regarding Hansbrough, Duke, and the hatred of both of them. I have had this conversation many times, with many different people, and I think it's a great topic. I planned on writing about it at some point (probably after Psycho T won a bunch of post-season awards) but since he asked, and since I'm on my lunch break, I might as well do it now.

Unless you are a Tar Heel fan, you cannot look at this picture without giggling a little bit. I defy you to look at that and not giggle. I'm giggling right now, as I'm typing.

First off, Hansbrough. Personally, I can't stand him. From the moment Fundy and I first watched him in the McDonald's All-American game, and Fundy wouldn't shut the fuck up about how awesome he was going to be, I hated him. But a lot of this is due to the fact that I knew he was going to UNC. Here's what I hate about him:

1) He either flails his elbows around or double-clutches on every shot attempt, drawing a million undeserved foul calls.

2) He gets his dick sucked by EVERY media person in the country, for being a hard-worker and hustler, when I play about that hard in my fucking Tuesday night city league. I've got scars from floorburns from fucking NOONBALL, and I know lots of others who do too, so needless to say if we were playing at a Division I school in front of thousands of fans (and millions more on TV) we would try hard too. This shouldn't be that big of a deal.

3) He is a gigantic nerd. I mean out of this world. His celebration after hitting the game-winner against Va Tech in the ACC tourney was the geekiest thing I've seen a white person do on a basketball court since Woody Harrelson was hustling Wesley Snipes.

4) His nickname. I would wager my entire checking account that at some level of basketball, a group of black teammates (or maybe it was just one guy; either way, they were definitely black) were making fun of the way Hansbrough acts on the court, and started calling him "Pscyho T." Hansbrough thought it was cool that the black guys cared enough about him to give him a nickname, and so of course he loved it and ran with it. There is just no way he would pick up that nickname any other way, unless it was 1995 again. I mean c'mon, "Psycho T"?!?!?! But the media thinks this is the greatest nickname in history, and trip over themselves blurting it out at every opportunity. You know what, fellow white guys, if we continue to accept these shitty nicknames that black guys use to secretly make fun of us, well, then....I guess black guys deserve to keep making fun of us.

5) Secretly, deep down, I know that he is pretty good.

So I had been going along hating Hansbrough just fine, until Kyle brought up an interesting point. Roy recruited him to Carolina, yet Hansbrough is from Missouri. Ipso facto, if Roy was still at KU, there is a 100% chance that Hansbrough would've been a Jayhawk. And, if he had, would I not absolutely love him? And the answer is yes. I believe Kyle's exact quote was, "I would honestly believe he was the second coming of Jesus." And considering that my all-time favorite player is Kirk Hinrich, who probably could've played Harry Potter in his high school drama class, I would be inclined to agree. All of a sudden I would love his dorkiness, and love his hustle, and probably be arguing that he should go to the foul line MORE. So it's all relative, I guess.

Which is the same argument one could use for Duke. People hate kids because they go to Duke, simple as that. For proof of this, look how the country falls in love with nerdy white kids from other schools. Drew Neitzel, Mike Gansey, Travis Diener, Wally Sczerbiak, Jon Godfread?, Adam Morrison (and every other white, lights-out shooter from Gonzaga in the last 10 years), etc. etc. etc. I mean, Adam Morrison? He is one of the most popular collegiate players of this decade. If he goes to Duke, he probably has to quit basketball because he would be in therapy full-time from the psychological abuse he endures during his college career (as opposed to real-life, where Morrison has used his season-ending injury this year to focus on luring young kids into his conversion van with the promise of new bikes and jolly ranchers. Did anybody else see him in the crowd during the first and second round games? Good lord. I thought the creepy factor on his child molestor hair-and-moustache combo was already maxxed out. I was wrong.) But yet, guys like Greg Paulus and Steve Wojoeialjdialklzipqski are only loved by Duke fans and their parents? Doesn't make sense.

There are couple of exceptions, in my opinion, however: Laettner and Redick. Laettner, by many accounts, was a douchebag, and this was proven once he went to the pros. Even Duke fans admit he was a shithead, so he's not worth going into detail about.

Redick was an asshat too, but his is a different story. I think, in his case, he sort of became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Does anyone remember him being a tool his freshman year? I don't. He had a little cockiness in him, but nothing out of the ordinary, from what I remember. But still, he was a white kid who could shoot and attended Duke, so people hated him. So in his mind, he probably said, "Fuck it. Everyone hates me anyway, and I'm the best shooter in college basketball history and can back it up, so I might as well be a total fuckstick." And there you go. He started talking a TON of shit, or throwing up the Shocker, or head-bobbing, or whatever else he knew would piss the crowd off. I would probably do the same if I were him. Going by J.J. probably didn't help much either. Someone from ESPN (probably Simmons) once wrote something along the lines of "If his name was James Redick and he went to Indiana, he would be the most popular player in the country." That is probably a true statement.

Best sign ever? I say yes.

Anyway, good work Chuck, and I would love to hear what all the Carolina and Duke fans out there think about this topic....if they're not too busy searching ebay for a soul.