Hansbrough & Redick

Wow, that was an absolutely fantastic comment that the Chuckwagon left regarding Hansbrough, Duke, and the hatred of both of them. I have had this conversation many times, with many different people, and I think it's a great topic. I planned on writing about it at some point (probably after Psycho T won a bunch of post-season awards) but since he asked, and since I'm on my lunch break, I might as well do it now.

Unless you are a Tar Heel fan, you cannot look at this picture without giggling a little bit. I defy you to look at that and not giggle. I'm giggling right now, as I'm typing.

First off, Hansbrough. Personally, I can't stand him. From the moment Fundy and I first watched him in the McDonald's All-American game, and Fundy wouldn't shut the fuck up about how awesome he was going to be, I hated him. But a lot of this is due to the fact that I knew he was going to UNC. Here's what I hate about him:

1) He either flails his elbows around or double-clutches on every shot attempt, drawing a million undeserved foul calls.

2) He gets his dick sucked by EVERY media person in the country, for being a hard-worker and hustler, when I play about that hard in my fucking Tuesday night city league. I've got scars from floorburns from fucking NOONBALL, and I know lots of others who do too, so needless to say if we were playing at a Division I school in front of thousands of fans (and millions more on TV) we would try hard too. This shouldn't be that big of a deal.

3) He is a gigantic nerd. I mean out of this world. His celebration after hitting the game-winner against Va Tech in the ACC tourney was the geekiest thing I've seen a white person do on a basketball court since Woody Harrelson was hustling Wesley Snipes.

4) His nickname. I would wager my entire checking account that at some level of basketball, a group of black teammates (or maybe it was just one guy; either way, they were definitely black) were making fun of the way Hansbrough acts on the court, and started calling him "Pscyho T." Hansbrough thought it was cool that the black guys cared enough about him to give him a nickname, and so of course he loved it and ran with it. There is just no way he would pick up that nickname any other way, unless it was 1995 again. I mean c'mon, "Psycho T"?!?!?! But the media thinks this is the greatest nickname in history, and trip over themselves blurting it out at every opportunity. You know what, fellow white guys, if we continue to accept these shitty nicknames that black guys use to secretly make fun of us, well, then....I guess black guys deserve to keep making fun of us.

5) Secretly, deep down, I know that he is pretty good.

So I had been going along hating Hansbrough just fine, until Kyle brought up an interesting point. Roy recruited him to Carolina, yet Hansbrough is from Missouri. Ipso facto, if Roy was still at KU, there is a 100% chance that Hansbrough would've been a Jayhawk. And, if he had, would I not absolutely love him? And the answer is yes. I believe Kyle's exact quote was, "I would honestly believe he was the second coming of Jesus." And considering that my all-time favorite player is Kirk Hinrich, who probably could've played Harry Potter in his high school drama class, I would be inclined to agree. All of a sudden I would love his dorkiness, and love his hustle, and probably be arguing that he should go to the foul line MORE. So it's all relative, I guess.

Which is the same argument one could use for Duke. People hate kids because they go to Duke, simple as that. For proof of this, look how the country falls in love with nerdy white kids from other schools. Drew Neitzel, Mike Gansey, Travis Diener, Wally Sczerbiak, Jon Godfread?, Adam Morrison (and every other white, lights-out shooter from Gonzaga in the last 10 years), etc. etc. etc. I mean, Adam Morrison? He is one of the most popular collegiate players of this decade. If he goes to Duke, he probably has to quit basketball because he would be in therapy full-time from the psychological abuse he endures during his college career (as opposed to real-life, where Morrison has used his season-ending injury this year to focus on luring young kids into his conversion van with the promise of new bikes and jolly ranchers. Did anybody else see him in the crowd during the first and second round games? Good lord. I thought the creepy factor on his child molestor hair-and-moustache combo was already maxxed out. I was wrong.) But yet, guys like Greg Paulus and Steve Wojoeialjdialklzipqski are only loved by Duke fans and their parents? Doesn't make sense.

There are couple of exceptions, in my opinion, however: Laettner and Redick. Laettner, by many accounts, was a douchebag, and this was proven once he went to the pros. Even Duke fans admit he was a shithead, so he's not worth going into detail about.

Redick was an asshat too, but his is a different story. I think, in his case, he sort of became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Does anyone remember him being a tool his freshman year? I don't. He had a little cockiness in him, but nothing out of the ordinary, from what I remember. But still, he was a white kid who could shoot and attended Duke, so people hated him. So in his mind, he probably said, "Fuck it. Everyone hates me anyway, and I'm the best shooter in college basketball history and can back it up, so I might as well be a total fuckstick." And there you go. He started talking a TON of shit, or throwing up the Shocker, or head-bobbing, or whatever else he knew would piss the crowd off. I would probably do the same if I were him. Going by J.J. probably didn't help much either. Someone from ESPN (probably Simmons) once wrote something along the lines of "If his name was James Redick and he went to Indiana, he would be the most popular player in the country." That is probably a true statement.

Best sign ever? I say yes.

Anyway, good work Chuck, and I would love to hear what all the Carolina and Duke fans out there think about this topic....if they're not too busy searching ebay for a soul.