Sometimes I Can't Help But Feel That I'm Living A Life Of Illusion

When you have wanted something very badly for a very long time, it's rare that when you get it, it is everything you hoped it would be. The letdown is almost inevitable. As the old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for....you just might get it." I'll admit that in the past, when I imagined what it would be like when (if ???) KU ever won it all, the thought creeped into my head that maybe it wouldn't be quite the be-all, end-all that I had built it up to be. But I've gotta say, KU winning the national championship is everything I hoped it would be, and more.

Certain people are just predisposed to love certain things. Sometimes it's because of their parents or siblings or other influences when they're young, and sometimes that's just the way people are internally wired. This is me and sports. My dad is a pretty passive sports fan. The only sport he actively watches and follows is football. I know I was on the couch with him every Sunday when I was 3 or 4 years old, watching the Washington Redskins when we lived in D.C. But that's about it. He never really pushed sports onto me, I just kinda got absorbed in them. When I was about 6, I was into baseball and football about as much as any 6 year old can be into anything, besides picking his nose (and I'm pretty sure I was heavily into that, too.) My parents used to laugh at me and 'show me off' to their friends at dinner parties and such. I was a little bit of a freak show. I may not have been able to pronounce the name Jose Uribe, but I could tell you his batting average in 1987. It was all natural to me.

Then when I was about 7 or 8, I discovered college basketball; KU to be more specific. I don't know what made them my favorite team, probably it was as simple as I was 8 and the first game I watched, they were playing in. Shortly thereafter they made the championship game and lost to Duke. I was crushed but didn't totally understand, I was still young and hadn't yet realized that getting to the Final 4 was incredibly hard. As I grew older and as my obsession grew stronger and the disappointments piled up, I promised myself that if and when it finally happened, I would fully appreciate every moment of it. And now, 18 years later, I am.

Monday night was the final chapter of a story that began a long, long time ago. It's amazing how many bad memories can be wiped out with the creation of just one new one. It is also amazing how clear the distinction between my first and second loves has become. There was never really a doubt in my mind that I loved college ball and KU more than baseball and the Red Sox, but I was unaware how large that gap was until the last week or so.

Monday morning and afternoon was almost unspeakable torture for me, waiting for the game to start. I was sitting in my office with the Hansbrough Face going, eyes bugged out, mouth wide open, my head whipping around in confusion every time someone tried to ask me a simple question. One of my co-workers actually asked me if I was feeling OK at about 3 pm, because she said I looked awful. I wondered what it would be like to hyperventilate, because I couldn't have been that far off. I know I have been worked up for Sox games before, but never anywhere close to that.

Ummmm yep, sorta like that.

Things weren't much better once the game started. One of those games where you know within 5 possessions that neither team is going away. Lived up to the hype, that's for sure. I was feeling unusually optimistic throughout the game, until the 9 point deficit with 2 minutes left. I thought we were done, and was beginning to prepare myself mentally. By "preparing myself mentally" I mean clutching my stomach and trying to keep myself from passing out. Then the comeback began, and I was a complete shell by this point. As everyone around me was yelling and screaming with every made shot and missed free throw by Memphis, it was all I could do to stay on my feet. When Chalmers' shot went in, I just sort of crumpled, recovered, and then basically did my best Thomas Hill re-enactment for the next half hour, as KU cruised through overtime.

This was my facial expression for so long that if my mom was there, she would've told me that my face was gonna permanently freeze like that.

Speaking of overtime, remember when I broke down Memphis right before the tournament started? I mentioned the free throw shooting, but then again, so did everyone other person on the planet Earth, so I can't take credit for that, but my point about how Memphis would respond when things weren't going their way proved prophetic. That team was absolutely FINISHED after Mario's shot. Put a fork in 'em.

Once the game was over and the celebration in the streets began (40,000 people packed downtown, and I probably hugged around 37,000 of them) everything kind of hit me at once and that's where this picture comes in. It'll be hilarious to look at that when I'm 75...which isn't to say that it's not hilarious now. I look like Fredo after the Don gets shot in front of him in The Godfather. Awesome.

I suppose I would've ended up in this position somehow, win or lose.

Here's some more of my other favorites from the night:

Man-hugs were on sale in Lawrence on Monday night. We took advantage.

Jud was blatantly taking advantage of the celebration to kiss Ashley (and random girls.) Vegas had the over/under at 29. Jud is the MVP of aggressive, borderline inappropriate kisses though, so I can't say I'm shocked. You know on shows like Laguna Beach, where every time the gang gets together, even if it's just for lunch, they are all hugging and kissing when they greet each other, like they haven't seen each other for 4 years, and I sit there and yell, "Nobody does that! You just saw each other last night! What the fuck?!?" Well, some people actually do that: Jud.

So anyway now I look forward to being able to just cheer like a normal fan, or at least as normal as it is possible for me to be while watching sports. After a decade and a half of heartbreak, I have officially moved into "spoiled fan" territory. Phil Mickelson has won three majors, the Sox have won two World Series, and the Phoenix Mercury are WNBA champs, haha j/k, j/k. LOL :)

I think Fundy's texty shortly after the game summed it up best: "congrats at least you won't be sleeping on any bridges this year" Well said, Fundy. Well said.

Wow.

I'll write about the game soon; just gimme some time to collect my thoughts. If I tried to talk about the game right now, the post would look something like "AAAAHHHHH MARIO CHALMERS WHAT A SHOT HOLY SHIT I LOVE YOU MARIO MEMPHIS AHAHAHHH TOLD YOU THAT FREE THROWS WOULD HURT YOU IN THE END ROY TAKE THAT FUCKING STICKER OFF YOUR FUCKING SHIRT AND GO BACK TO CAROLINA DID I MENTION I LOVE MARIO CHALMERS AAAAAHHHHHHAAAAA."

So I'll wait a bit. After last night I don't even know what planet I'm on. Plus, I had kind of a breakdown at the end of the game and there may be some incriminating pictures that get released that you will enjoy. 3 things to know until then:

1. If you know me, you know I take sports wayyyyy too seriously. It's my main character flaw. I've tried to change, but I can't do it. It is what it is. When your favorite team has a history of coming up short in big games, year-in and year-out, it can be pretty rough. But then when games like last night happen, it makes it all worth it. Seriously.

2. It's amazing how badly a hangover gets dominated by a national championship...and by Cheez-its. Lots and lots of Cheez-its.

3. One way or another, my first-born's name will be Mario Chalmers Hammen. Hopefully it's a boy.

Best Hangover Ever

I sincerely hope that, at least once, all my friends get to partake in the kind of celebration that I was a part of last night. Unbelievable. Right now as I type, my head is pounding, my mouth is dry, my voice is gone, I can't hear a thing because my ears are still ringing, I'm oozing out a little blood from the cuts from my arms, from where we got a little carried away and hit the street (literally) during the chaos. And I couldn't be happier. I woke up without an alarm at about 7:15, took a couple of seconds to get my bearings, and a smile of realization slowly crept across my face, and that was that. I'm up.

I couldn't possibly string together any kind of rational thought about the game. No chance. So I'm listing random shit from the night, bullet-style baby.

• I'll start with giving some propers to the Carolina fans. I have quite a few of them, and every one of them showed a lot of class in defeat last night. (Side note: just so everyone doesn't think I was ignoring them, I made the conscious decision to not answer a single texty once the game started. It's one thing during baseball, where there are plenty of breaks in the game, but I didn't want my face buried in my phone during a basketball game. Then after the game was over, I didn't answer anything because I was too busy trying to decide which article of clothing to set on fire or which car to tip over next. (Side note to the side note: going through my inbox this morning was hilarious. I could've been stranded in the African Congo, with nothing but my phone, and I would know EXACTLY how this game went down, from the unreal start, to the scary second half, to the final run at the end, to the conclusion. Awesome work kids.))
• Also some heavy propers are due to Lane. Sasha Kaun has always been Lane's boy, and we have a little bit of a friendly rivalry due to the fact that my boy Darnell Jackson stole his starting spot. Anyway, before every game, Lane always tells me, "Look for Sasha to have a big game tonight." See the comment section from the previous post for an example. At the beginning of the year he was completely serious, he always thought Sasha would have a huge game. Once I told him that I had turned it into a running joke, trying to predict the exact time he would call me and tell me, that kind of ruined it, because now obviously he says it for comedic purposes. ANNNNYWAY before the game starts yesterday, Lane does his Sasha routine, then drops this one on me: "You know who might be our MVP tonight? Cole Aldrich." To which I replied something along the lines of "Jesus, shut the fuck up Lane." Well holy shit he couldn't have been more right. It was awesome, and hilarious, to the point where everytime Cole did something good, Lane was absolutely mobbed by everyone around him. So sometimes it does pay off to have blind faith in big, slightly uncoordinated white dudes.
• Random note on Cole Aldrich: he is about 6'10 or 6'11'', and a few months ago we saw him in Chipotle, and his girlfriend is shorter than Alex. Chew on that.
• Also some propers to Schne. Back in January he said "You know what? KU is really, really good this year. They are going to the Final 4, and I wanna be in Lawrence when it happens." So he bought a plane ticket right then and there, and KU made it, and that is turning out to be the greatest plane ticket he ever bought.
• It was nice to see KU play to its potential last night. The question with them this year hasn't been COULD we play well, but WOULD we play well. They just get inside their own heads so often, instead of just going out and playing basketball. To come out and play so aggressive, yet loose, at the beginning of the game was nice to see.
• I'm pretty sure I was the only person in the bar, probably in all of downtown Lawrence, that wasn't comfortable at 40-12. Partly because I'm a naturally pessimistic sports fan, partly because I knew Carolina was gonna make a run at some point. Well, they made a run, all right. If Carolina comes back and wins that game, given KU's tortured recent history, that it was a Final 4 game, that it was against Roy, that's gotta be one of the all-time toughest losses in sports history, right?
• Speaking of watching at the bar, I had never been a giant fan of that. In the past, I would much rather watch at my place, with a few buddies, drinking beer, whatever. Well that was because I never lived here before. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with 150 other people cheering just as hard as you are, sweating your ass off, living and dying with shots, booing and flicking off Roy and Hansbrough every time they showed him on screen, and then pouring out into the streets afterwards to celebrate....unreal. My advice to all my friends is that if and when your team goes to the Final 4, go to the hometown of that school. Durham, Chapel Hill, whatever. Just go there.
• Roy. Ol' Roy. Last night's game was pretty therapeutic. I have to say that my hatred is a bit diminished since we got that out of our system. When we were on the huge first half run, the greatest moments were when they showed a shot of Roy on the sideline. We went ballistic. Clearly the goal is to win the title, but I do have to say that I can be a little more objective about Roy since we beat him that badly.
• Speaking of winning the title, I don't have too much to say I guess, pregame. Maybe I will tomorrow. Basically both teams are playing their best ball right now. I am glad we play Memphis, because I have a little residual fear left over from UCLA from last year, and I. HATE. MEMPHIS. Almost as much as Duke or Carolina. And this hatred is more of a legitimate hatred. I hate Duke and Carolina for obvious reasons (and as we talked about a few days ago, they are kind of biased and unfounded reasons); and I hate them every year, just because. Well, I hate Memphis because I actually dislike their coach and their players. I think they are a team full of punks, and I am excited to play those bitches tomorrow.
• Except for Chris Douglas-Roberts, he's kinda cool. He reminds me of this guy in the Grand Am tournament we played in a few years ago. We were all in our prime, 21, 22 years old, and we're playing a team of 40 and 50-somethings, so we're pretty relaxed. Well this one guy with gray hair probably dropped 45 points on us. Scoring from every possible spot on the floor, using all kinds of crazy dips and scoops and different release points on his jumper. He dropped the entire old-man arsenal on us, and we lost by about 20 to bunch of Dads. That's who CDR reminds me of, and I have respect for that.
• Slide down the bench, Marquette Semifinal Game From 2003. I've got a new all-time favorite KU basketball moment...hopefully until tomorrow night.
• God bless google. When you google images for "KU final four" here's some of the pictures you get:

Word up, Jesus. It IS cool to love you...but how should I feel about the KKK and Lindsey Lohan in a two-piece?