I just want to get this out, right now, right after it happened, so maybe the forgiving process can begin.
First of all, I found out the absolute WORST way to watch a potential no-hitter is by GameCast. Just excruciating. From the 7th inning on, every time the little bottom line gave the message "Incoming pitch has been hit into play" I suffered a minor stroke. By the 9th my eyes were an inch and a half away from the computer, both hands were pulling my hair, and I was tapping my feet and rocking back and forth like I was on speed. My dad's partner, on her way out the door, glanced over at me, did a double-take, and made sure I was OK. I wasn't, but I lied so she could drive home in relative comfort, not having to blame herself if the resulting brain anneurysm killed me.
So now there's two outs in the 9th, me on the edge of insanity, when Danny decides to give a call. Against every single shred of good judgement, I answer the call. I wish there was a black box or something to re-listen to this conversation:
Danny "Are you watching Sportscenter?"
Me "One more out...one more out...whyaretheyshowingitonTVnow?noI'mintheofficewatchingitonGameCastit'sgonnahappenhe'sgonnadoit"
Danny "Yeah they're show- Ohhh my!!! Oh they just broke it up!!!"
Me "What?!?! Shut the fuck up!! Shut up! No he didn't!!!"
Danny "I'm serious I'm watching it right now!!"
Me "Shut up! Shut up! You're lying! Shannon Stewart?!?"
Danny "I don't even know who Shannon Stewart is-"
Me (as the GameCast catches up to real time) "No!! No way! No fucking way!!! YOU!! YOU DID THIS Danny! You did this! I'm hanging up now!!!!!"
End transmission.
So Daniel Vincent John Sondreal, you have blood on your hands. The blood of a Curt Schilling no-hitter. I will take partial blame for answering the phone in the first place; but nevertheless, I have already begun constructing my Kobe Bryant voodoo doll.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Noonball Rivalries
This post is for Jesse, Ricky, Chris, Danny, and the other Noonies who were discussing some of the best fights in my noonball career, and who I thought my biggest rivals were. So after some deliberation:
5. Z A new addition to the list. Impressive because he has really only been playing for a couple weeks. He is a football player for the Sioux, so his defense consists of shoulder bumps, two-hand pushes to the back, and just generally running into you when you are driving. When I (obviously) accidentally poked Danny in the eye going for a loose ball, he accused me of doing it on purpose. Also, he is the kind of guy who has absolutely nooo problem talking shit, even as he is getting lit up, like yesterday when he called Jerome Beasley a "D-League Mother Fucker" as Beasley was in the middle of destroying him.
4. Dr. Tony Even though we no longer have problems (see the post Turning Over A New Leaf from last October, I think) I have to include him on this list because of his ridiculousness when we were battling. The worst thing about Tony (and maybe the worst quality one can have at noonball) was that on the defensive end, he just mauls people. Every time. This is bad enough, but then, on offense, he calls EVERYTHING. At least with guys like Z you can bang him back and he won't call it on you. Tony's snapping point came pretty quickly, and he was a notorious shit-talker.
3. John He was probably one of the least popular guys in noonball history, due to his penchant for being everybody's coach, preaching tough D and smart shots, and then he would get the ball and jack up an airball 3 from the corner. However, he and I were destined to be enemies, stemming from both of us being a lefty and wearing a headband. He didn't appreciate me telling him to "shut the fuck up, stop being a coach, and make a fucking shot" a few years ago, and that was about the end of us being cordial to each other.
2. Joe Also a recent addition; we were never buddies, but apparently he has disliked me for some time, and it came to a head a couple of weeks ago. After he blew a 3-on-1 layup in a close game, both myself and
Jim Beal got on his case. Now, if you're Joe, who are you gonna get pissed at: Jim Beal in full-on , pissed-off, tight game mode, or the skinny white guy who wears a headband and talks bigger than he is? Yeah, pretty much. The altercation ended with him being separated from me and yelling "I hate this guy! I HATE HIM!" as I can do nothing but laugh. Always good times when teammates have to be restrained. Jesse also happened to get this on tape; watch it if you get a chance. It's good stuff, and he doesn't pass me the ball for at least 20 possessions afterwards. He is the one in blue looking down at me with a look of total disgust. Keep in mind we're on the same team.
1. J.J. This is no shocker to anyone who plays at the 'Slop. I would like to think that over the years, our battles have been some of the most entertaining. I know that I love them, as I usually play better and tougher when he guards me. It has cooled over the last year, but I think his friendships with some of the other black guys (see: Joe) has effectively transferred his hatred of me to them. I am serious when I say that I am downright shocked that he has never punched me in the face before. He is without a doubt the scariest guy at noonball. He looks like Young Buck with a perma-sneer. He plays on the edge of Defcom 5 at all times. The smallest smirk or quietest comment after you score on him could be the one that makes him go Artest on you. Basically, he wants to push people around, talk shit, and intimidate people into playing like a pussy, and while some people let him do his thing, I usually remind him from time to time that he's an idiot.
That, in a nutshell, is the common denominator on this list. I can't keep my mouth shut when I see someone being a douchebag. I am never the instigator; I don't pride myself on talking shit. I hate it, actually, which is why I get sucked into it. I don't let it slide if someone is acting like a shithead. Guys will talk crap, I tell them to shut it; and there you go. This is why I have so many enemies at noonball. It doesn't hurt my feelings; I have plenty of friends at noonball as well. The ones who realize I am just wanting to win are the same ones who I hang out with outside of basketball.
Don't misconstrue this post as pride in my attitude on the court. I have tried to change it, it didn't work, so not everyone is gonna like me as a result. It is what it is, I guess. This post was merely the official answer to an ongoing conversation.
5. Z A new addition to the list. Impressive because he has really only been playing for a couple weeks. He is a football player for the Sioux, so his defense consists of shoulder bumps, two-hand pushes to the back, and just generally running into you when you are driving. When I (obviously) accidentally poked Danny in the eye going for a loose ball, he accused me of doing it on purpose. Also, he is the kind of guy who has absolutely nooo problem talking shit, even as he is getting lit up, like yesterday when he called Jerome Beasley a "D-League Mother Fucker" as Beasley was in the middle of destroying him.
4. Dr. Tony Even though we no longer have problems (see the post Turning Over A New Leaf from last October, I think) I have to include him on this list because of his ridiculousness when we were battling. The worst thing about Tony (and maybe the worst quality one can have at noonball) was that on the defensive end, he just mauls people. Every time. This is bad enough, but then, on offense, he calls EVERYTHING. At least with guys like Z you can bang him back and he won't call it on you. Tony's snapping point came pretty quickly, and he was a notorious shit-talker.
3. John He was probably one of the least popular guys in noonball history, due to his penchant for being everybody's coach, preaching tough D and smart shots, and then he would get the ball and jack up an airball 3 from the corner. However, he and I were destined to be enemies, stemming from both of us being a lefty and wearing a headband. He didn't appreciate me telling him to "shut the fuck up, stop being a coach, and make a fucking shot" a few years ago, and that was about the end of us being cordial to each other.
2. Joe Also a recent addition; we were never buddies, but apparently he has disliked me for some time, and it came to a head a couple of weeks ago. After he blew a 3-on-1 layup in a close game, both myself and
Jim Beal got on his case. Now, if you're Joe, who are you gonna get pissed at: Jim Beal in full-on , pissed-off, tight game mode, or the skinny white guy who wears a headband and talks bigger than he is? Yeah, pretty much. The altercation ended with him being separated from me and yelling "I hate this guy! I HATE HIM!" as I can do nothing but laugh. Always good times when teammates have to be restrained. Jesse also happened to get this on tape; watch it if you get a chance. It's good stuff, and he doesn't pass me the ball for at least 20 possessions afterwards. He is the one in blue looking down at me with a look of total disgust. Keep in mind we're on the same team.1. J.J. This is no shocker to anyone who plays at the 'Slop. I would like to think that over the years, our battles have been some of the most entertaining. I know that I love them, as I usually play better and tougher when he guards me. It has cooled over the last year, but I think his friendships with some of the other black guys (see: Joe) has effectively transferred his hatred of me to them. I am serious when I say that I am downright shocked that he has never punched me in the face before. He is without a doubt the scariest guy at noonball. He looks like Young Buck with a perma-sneer. He plays on the edge of Defcom 5 at all times. The smallest smirk or quietest comment after you score on him could be the one that makes him go Artest on you. Basically, he wants to push people around, talk shit, and intimidate people into playing like a pussy, and while some people let him do his thing, I usually remind him from time to time that he's an idiot.
That, in a nutshell, is the common denominator on this list. I can't keep my mouth shut when I see someone being a douchebag. I am never the instigator; I don't pride myself on talking shit. I hate it, actually, which is why I get sucked into it. I don't let it slide if someone is acting like a shithead. Guys will talk crap, I tell them to shut it; and there you go. This is why I have so many enemies at noonball. It doesn't hurt my feelings; I have plenty of friends at noonball as well. The ones who realize I am just wanting to win are the same ones who I hang out with outside of basketball.
Don't misconstrue this post as pride in my attitude on the court. I have tried to change it, it didn't work, so not everyone is gonna like me as a result. It is what it is, I guess. This post was merely the official answer to an ongoing conversation.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Rush, Bron-Bron, Fantasy Sox, And Beckett
Regarding Brandon Rush, I will take him back any way I can, torn ACL or no. A likely scenario has him back and game-ready in January, just in time for the Big 12 season. Nothing matters until March, anyway. I am fully aware that he would have still gone pro if not for this injury. I am fully aware that coming back is not his first choice. I am fully aware a lengthy, grueling rehab is upcoming. I am fully aware that this is not a feel-good, "I'm so excited to be a Jayhawk one more year, blah blah blah" situation. All that being said, this article remains one of, if not the worst, articles I have ever read in my life. What exactly is the criteria for getting articles posted on kusports.com? Note especially the absolutely meaningless paragraphs of garbage that begin with "Now for some perspective." Are you fucking kidding me? What is he even talking about? The more I think about this article, the angrier I get. I can totally picture this story being forwarded by a Schneweis brother with the subject line "Get a load of this fucker!" Unreal.
Give me a second while I flip the switch from bitter to upbeat....wait a second....little longer...OK. Lebron James. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That series was brutal besides watching Bron-Bron become a superduuuuuuperstar, and I have no other explanation other than divine intervention that the only time I made the decision to turn my TV to cable channel 59 to watch it was the beginning of the 4th quarter of Game 5. Triple AAA just arrived to pull my NBA Bandwagon out of the ditch, and when I told them that I don't have Triple AAA, they replied, "Don't worry, the NBA Gods are paying for it."
I absolutely loved Bowen's post on the non-Red Sox players he would love to see on the Sox, so here's mine:
C: Michael Barrett. He punched A.J. Piersyznski. Works for me.
1B: Nick Swisher. His nickname should be "Half Man, Half Toolshed."
2B: Ronnie Belliard...
SS: Jimmy Rollins. He and Belliard would turn the most gangsta double plays ever.
3B: David Wright. Kinda by default; not a ton of faves at the hot corner.
LF: Carl Crawford. I would take Soriano here, but I already used my Cub on Barrett.
CF: Torii Hunter. While everyone in the tri-state area is busy wacking it to either Mauer or Morneau, Torii continues to be the heart and soul of that team.
RF: Ken Griffey Jr. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Junior. No homo.
DH: Travis Hafner. Some North Dakota love.
SP: Dontrielle Willis. Fun to watch.
RP: Ben Weber. Before this year, I would've said Brendan Donnelly, but we got him, so now I'll take the other spaz from the Angel's 2002 bullpen.
No time for the rest of my pitching staff, I have to put my 4-7 "Watching Red Sox on TV" record on the line. I am especially excited, as I have yet to see Beckett pitch this year. However, given the way Schilling and Dice-K pitch when I'm watching, maybe I shouldn't be so pumped.
Give me a second while I flip the switch from bitter to upbeat....wait a second....little longer...OK. Lebron James. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That series was brutal besides watching Bron-Bron become a superduuuuuuperstar, and I have no other explanation other than divine intervention that the only time I made the decision to turn my TV to cable channel 59 to watch it was the beginning of the 4th quarter of Game 5. Triple AAA just arrived to pull my NBA Bandwagon out of the ditch, and when I told them that I don't have Triple AAA, they replied, "Don't worry, the NBA Gods are paying for it."
I absolutely loved Bowen's post on the non-Red Sox players he would love to see on the Sox, so here's mine:
C: Michael Barrett. He punched A.J. Piersyznski. Works for me.
1B: Nick Swisher. His nickname should be "Half Man, Half Toolshed."
2B: Ronnie Belliard...
SS: Jimmy Rollins. He and Belliard would turn the most gangsta double plays ever.
3B: David Wright. Kinda by default; not a ton of faves at the hot corner.
LF: Carl Crawford. I would take Soriano here, but I already used my Cub on Barrett.
CF: Torii Hunter. While everyone in the tri-state area is busy wacking it to either Mauer or Morneau, Torii continues to be the heart and soul of that team.
RF: Ken Griffey Jr. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Junior. No homo.
DH: Travis Hafner. Some North Dakota love.
SP: Dontrielle Willis. Fun to watch.
RP: Ben Weber. Before this year, I would've said Brendan Donnelly, but we got him, so now I'll take the other spaz from the Angel's 2002 bullpen.
No time for the rest of my pitching staff, I have to put my 4-7 "Watching Red Sox on TV" record on the line. I am especially excited, as I have yet to see Beckett pitch this year. However, given the way Schilling and Dice-K pitch when I'm watching, maybe I shouldn't be so pumped.
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