How To Get Out Of A Cell Phone Contract

I've been with Sprint for over four years now, ever since I moved down to Kansas. The first few years were great; I had no problems. The last year or so has been a nightmare, pretty much ever since I moved into this house on the far, far west side of town (my friends and I joke that I actually live in East Topeka...a joke that is much funnier if you know how much Topeka sucks.) Internet is brutal, email rarely comes in, text messages are sometimes delayed by hours, and forget about making or receiving phone calls. Also, my AWESOME Sports Alert app that is supposed to give me Red Sox, Thunder, and Titans' scores as they happen never works-- but that's OK, I can just read about the Sox collapsing again in the morning. My house is a bomb shelter.

So I finally gave up and went in to Sprint, wanting out of my contract. Something I should've done long ago, really. Of course the guy in the store can't do anything for me except dial the number for customer service. So after 55 minutes, five different service representatives, and about 30 different times I almost just hung up the phone and accepted that I would have to pay the full cancellation fee of $180, I'm finally talking to somebody who can make decisions about my contract. He tells me they would be willing to waive half the fee, "only because you've been a paying customer for four years." He basically comes out and tells me that they don't believe me when I say my phone doesn't work in my house, since on their stupid little computer, it says that all of Lawrence receives perfect coverage, and there are no current outages in their towers.

At this point, I'm done with the whole thing. I'm willing to pay half, even though I'm not happy about it; I know how phone companies don't like to let people out of their contract. By this time I've left Sprint and driven home, but I've been pacing the driveway. I'm not walking inside and risking losing this phone call, then starting the process all over. However, now I have to go inside, to grab a pen and paper to write down my cancellation confirmation number. I sprint (Ha! No pun intended) into the kitchen and start shuffling through drawers, while the Sprint guy tries to make small talk. And it goes a little something like this:

Sprint guy: So, Lawrence, huh? You must be a pretty big KU fan!

Me: Yeah, it's pretty much why I moved down here...

Sprint guy: I'm sorry, what was that?

Me: Yeah, I've been a big fan since I was like 7, so that's-

Sprint guy: Sir?

Me: Yeah, I'm here.

Sprint guy: You're cutting out, sir, I'm having trouble hearing you...

Me, running back out to the garage: YEAH. I DON'T DOUBT THAT YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE. I JUST WALKED INTO MY EFFING HOUSE.


It was at this point that the Sprint guy busted out laughing, waived the entire cancellation fee, and told me I could continue to use my phone until the end of the next billing cycle (October 14th) for no charge.

Booyeah.