'Don't Ask Don't Tell' Is Done; What Now?

Don't ask, don't tell" is over Tuesday.
The ban against gays serving openly in the military has been repealed. Starting Tuesday, gay service members cannot be discriminated against for their sexual identity. But the policy has affected the lives of thousands of people during the 18 years it was in place. NPR spoke with two of them: one who was discharged from the military under the law eight years ago; the other a gay Marine who has been keeping his sexual identity a secret for 14 years.
The Former Sergeant Major
First, Stacy Vasquez, who describes herself this way: "I like to say that I'm a government-certified homosexual."
Vasquez was a 30-year-old Army sergeant major when she was discharged under don't ask, don't tell. Someone said they saw her kissing a woman at a gay bar, and that was the end of her career.
"It ended right in front of my eyes that day," she said. "That was a hard day."
But it was the beginning of her very public role in the movement to repeal don't ask, don't tell. Vasquez became an activist, appearing with Lady Gaga at MTV's Vide.
Now that the ban has been lifted, Vasquez is applying to go back into the military — in the Army Reserves. But like others discharged under don't ask, don't tell, there are no guarantees.
"There's no Monopoly card that says go for free, no," she said. "It depends on how many people they're looking for, what background they're looking for, what skill sets they're looking for.
"And I have to pass my physical quals (qualifications). I've gotten a little bit older. I've gained a little weight."
So Vasquez may not get in, and that would be OK with her. She has different expectations now. She's not going to have the Army career she had planned on eight years ago when she was forced out. Her high profile during the don't ask, don't tell debate helped her close that door — but it opened others.
"It really helped me, I think, move beyond the stages. I went through sad. I went through angry. I went through cynical. I just did it in front of a camera," she said.
The Marine
Vasquez made a name for herself being a gay solider. But many others kept their sexual identity a secret — like U.S. Marine Maj. Darrel Choat.
This is the first time Choat has publicly acknowledged that he's gay. He wrote an essay set to be published in a book on don't ask, don't tell coming out in a few weeks. In it, he writes, "I am a patriotic American. I am an officer of the Marines who loves country, Corps and my Marines. I am doing the best to serve proudly and honorably and I happen to be gay."
NPR spoke with Choat at the suburban home he shared with his former partner. He's wearing his Marine fatigues. His hair is clipped short. Choat proudly shows off a photo of him and President Obama from 2010 when he worked at the White House as part of the ceremonial Marine detail.
Choat joined the Marine Corps 14 years ago when he was 34 years old. He had to get a waiver for his age, but the Nebraska native was dead set on being a Marine.
"You know swearing an oath to protect and defend the Constitution and bear true faith and allegiance to the same — and I take that very seriously," he said.
When he signed up, Choat knew he was gay. But he also knew that joining the Marines meant keeping quiet about that part of his life.
"You know I was a little cavalier, I thought, 'Hey, I'm squared away, I know who I am, this isn't going to be a big deal.' And over time, it became a big deal and it's something that just kind of creeps up on you, the small compromises, the things that you do, how you have to bisect yourself, bisect your life."
Choat rose through the ranks. He did two tours in Iraq in 2005 and 2006 during some of the worst fighting of the war. He had personal relationships, but he kept them quiet. Then last year, everything changed. The Pentagon was reviewing don't ask, don't tell. The federal courts were weighing in. The commandant of the Marine Corps at the time, Gen. James Conway, said the vast majority of Marines would not want to room with someone who's openly gay. Choat didn't believe what he was hearing.
"When you've got senior leaders in the Marine Corps saying things about the Marines they've served beside and served with, you just think, 'What is going on here? Why are you disrespecting these Marines? Why are you disrespecting your Marines?'"
At that point, a year ago, Choat wanted to speak out but he couldn't. So he found another way to get his message across. As a student at the Marine Corps University, he decided to write his thesis on don't ask, don't tell. He designed a survey to gauge opinion on the policy, and he sent it out to other Marines. He remembers sitting in front