Scene: My basement. I'm excitedly tearing open a package, giggling to myself like a kid on Christmas morning.
Jillian: What is that?
Me: This? Oh, I ordered a, um, movie off of ebay.
Jillian: Ooooo, what movie? Let's see it.
Me: Oh, well, um, you wouldn't like it.
Jillian: Well lemme see it!.....~I hand over the package~....What the hell is this?
Me: Poison Ivy 4: Secret Society.
Jillian: Are you kidding me? You're ordering porn off of ebay now?
Me: It's not PORN.....it's soft-core, at best. You know the tomboy from Little Giants? That's her on the cover!
Jillian: NO WAY. There is no way.
Me: Oh you better believe it. Icebox. She's in my all-time top 5 hottest women.
Jillian: WOW. I would never have guessed that's her.
Me: I know right? AND there's a chick who used to be on Degrassi, she gets naked too!
Jillian: Oh my goodness, you are ridiculous with those Degrassi girls*. That's disgusting, she's like 12.
Me: She WAS 12. Now she's 23, and she is taking off her clothes in this movie. And I'm going to watch.
Jillian: You're unbelievable. Alright. Well, when you watch this and jerk off, just make sure you're downstairs when you do it, I'll murder you if you do it on my couches upstairs. And don't get any on that old bedspread I gave you. I know I didn't want it anymore, but that's not the purpose it's intended for.
Me: Roger dodger. Loud and clear.
* Let the record show that I have roped Jillian into watching a bunch of Degrassi episodes. And one time I came home and turned on her TV, and the last channel she was watching was Teen Nick, so clearly she's been watching even without me there. So her criticism of Degrassi is both unwarranted and untruthful.
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