Real-World Applications Of The Godfather

There's a section of The Godfather book that the movie never gets into (one of the reasons why the book is so much better, not to mention the greatest book of all time) about Johnny Fontane and his troubles with women. He reaches a personal conclusion wherein he decides he will always love and cherish the women in his life, and never be angry with them, no matter what they do to him or how badly they treat him, just because it's easier for him to do that than to constantly be fighting with them. And because he makes that concession, he no longer feels guilty about anything he does on his part towards women. It's been one of my favorite parts of the book ever since reading it the very first time ten years ago. I started using this attitude in my life with various things, and it has served me well-- I call it my Johnny Fontane Breaking Point.

The point of all that: I have reached my Johnny Fontane Breaking Point with fantasy football. I will never again complain about anything fantasy football-related, I will just accept whatever crap it throws at me forever, without a word of anger. Tony Romo and Frank Gore suffer season-ending injuries? Fine. I lose a sure victory because Michael Vick drops a 50 spot on Monday night? Fair enough. Randy Moss signs with my favorite team, then drops off the face of the Earth? Cool beans. I lose my most recent game because of a Tuesday morning adjustment that awards Ike an extra point? (That one really is OK, it would've been my second tie in a row, which is gayer than a bag of dicks. How are there ties in fantasy football? We need to change that setting for next year, Commissioner, I would honestly rather lose than tie.)

But now, on the flip side of that coin....if I feel like focusing all my energy on gambling instead, or not once checking my team's score until Tuesday morning, or no longer debating for 15 minutes whether to start LeGarrette Blount against Atlanta or Jahvid Best against Chicago, or someday just walking away from fantasy football altogether.....then I do it with no guilt in my heart.

I actually started my new fantasy football attitude a couple weeks ago, right after the Michael Vick game, when Lane came up and asked me, eyes aglow and shit-eating grin plastered on his face, if I had any thoughts on that game the previous night, expecting a typical fantasy football "I got soooo screwed" rant. My response: a zen-like "No, not really. It's over with."

Johnny Fontane, bitches.

***************

Also, you may be a Godfather fan, and right about now you may be thinking to yourself about the part in the movie where Johnny Fontane goes to Vito Corleone and complains to him, and Vito slaps him in the face and tells him "You can ACT LIKE A MAN!!!" And you may be thinking about pointing out to me that that lesson involving Johnny Fontane is equally, or perhaps even moreso, applicable in this particular situation. But save your time; I'm aware of the possibility.