Ok, I Believe You...But My Tommy Gun Don't

Tonight I start my voyage to the Great White North for a nice long Christmas break. Tonight will either be Omaha or Minneapolis, and tomorrow either Fargo or Grand Forks, I'm still weighing my options, and trying to make as many people happy as possible. I'm a nice guy like that. Either way, I already gave up my ticket to the KU game tomorrow morning, which happens to be Josh Selby's much-anticipated debut. Word on the street is it will be one of the rowdiest games in Fieldhouse history. So basically I chose extra time with friends over Josh Selby. I regret it already. My friends are pricks, mostly.

Things I am most excited for:

Charitable gaming: Goes without saying. My blackjack shakes aren't as bad as they usually are, since I've had a couple of casino trips in the last couple months....but still.

Noonball: Gonna run some games on the ol' Orange Top at Hyslop for the first time in over three years. Every other time I've been back home since I moved away, I'm usually busy seeing people or golfing during the day, but I'm finally making noonball a priority this time. I'm a very nostalgic person, so it might be tough to play with tears of joy running down my face. Then one of the black guys who hated me back in the day will throw an elbow or a punch, and I'll be ready to play again. The smart money is on either JJ or Joe, if you're gambling at home.

Red Pepper: The other day, I came across some sort of coconut body wash with little black specks in it, and I practically started drooling, thinking about Red Pepper's legendary white sauce. I was dangerously close to pouring some in my mouth, just for a little sample, but then your mom told me to hurry up in the shower because she was going to be late for work.

Christmas movies: the ones I watch every year: Elf (already watched that one while decorating the Christmas tree, hey remember when Paul watched it every single day for 24 days in a row?); National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation; Home Alone (when will that movie stop being awesome? Never?); Garfield's Christmas; A Christmas Carol; and my personal favorite, A Muppet Family Christmas, which I watch on Christmas Day every year. It's pretty much the only reason why there is still a VHS player hooked up at my parents' house (thanks Mom!) Even at 28 years old, it brings me great joy. Damn I love Muppets. And if you don't, then you hate Christmas and I'm sorry.

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One unrelated side note: if you are thinking about putting a Smirnoff Ice in a roommate or friend's stocking, make sure the stocking is SECURELY weighted down to support the weight of the Ice- especially if you are sneaking the Ice into the stocking right before you leave for work while your roommate or friend is sleeping. If you do not complete this crucial step, the Ice may or may not drag the stocking off the mantle, and the Ice may or may not shatter on the floor and startle your roommate out of her peaceful slumber, and she may or may not have to clean up the mess on the floor while she curses your name. Just a little word of warning this holiday season.

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Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, Selby is free at last!