How shocked were you when you heard the news?
About a 2 on a scale of 1-10. Basically, since about July of 2008, when it was apparent that since the Mitchell Report was released, Ortiz had lost a dramatic amount of power, I began bracing myself mentally. Granted he was coming off an injury, so it was unclear how much of his struggles were attributible to that, but still...the seeds of doubt had been planted. Then when some of his buddies started getting busted (Manny, Tejada, multiple other Dominicans who shared elaborate handshakes with Ortiz around the batting cage during BP) and he started off this season looking like an overmatched little leaguer at the plate, it was pretty apparent what was going on. For a couple years now, I've been saying that he makes a textbook case for a steroid user (and I'm not trying to make it sound like that was a grand prediction. Let's see, he sucks for the most part in Minnesota, comes to Boston at the height of the steroid era and becomes awesome almost overnight, then the Mitchell Report is released, steroid punishments get strict, and his career goes into a tailspin. In Chris Farley voice when he busts David Spade jerking off in the hotel room during Tommy Boy: Hmmm....that's a mystery.) I guess the only reason it's surprising is because of how vehemently Ortiz attacked the issue during interviews, calling for a mandatory one-year suspensions for violators. Guess that was all bullshit, though.
Is the 2004 World Championship tainted for you now?
Yes and no. No because at least 104 players in the sport were cheating as well, so the sanctity of competition was fucked anyway. Yes because it's impossible to be as proud of that team as I once was, especially because my asshole friends will remind me every chance they get that Manny and Ortiz cheated. I even got an email from my friend's MOM asking me if the Red Sox have to give back their championship rings since they got busted....I mean, holy shit. This is the same mom who was genuinely devastated for me when Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees, and now she's calling for the Sox to give back their rings. Keep twisting the knife, it feels good.
Will you still watch your DVDs from the 2004 playoffs when you're pregaming before a night on the town?
Let me answer that question with a question: Does a bear shit in the woods?
But will you enjoy it as much though?
Objection! Prosecution is badgering the witness!
How proud are you to cheer for a team of cheaters? They should just call them the Boston Roid Sox now, right?
You also forgot Roid Sox Nation, Cheattown, the City of Asteriks, Dustin PEDroia, and many, many other shitty nicknames that message board idiots came up with. I'm convinced that you could do nothing but shotgun beers and smoke pot, day and night, for like three weeks straight, and you still wouldn't kill as many brain cells as you would by spending 3 minutes reading the ESPN message boards. Just stupidity in its purest form.
Do you still have the same love of the sport of baseball?
*Deep breath....wistful look into the distance....long drag off my imaginary cigarette......*
No. No I do not. This one put me over the edge. It was one thing when questionable character guys like Canseco, A-Rod, Manny, etc. were getting busted, but a "good guy" like Big Papi? There's no going back now.
It's like that quote from Shawshank, narrated by Morgan Freeman:
"I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him."
In this analogy, we as baseball fans are Andy, and every so often we're gonna show up with fresh bruises from The Sisters, in the form of more players' names being released. I do believe these next few years are gonna be the worst for us.
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