Quick rundown for the uninformed/uncaring: for the past 35 or so years, Billy Packer has been the lead color analyst for CBS college basketball, and he and play-by-play man Jim Nantz (the answer to the trivia question: who would I most want to be for one week of the year?) have talked me through every single Final Four I've ever watched. The vast majority of the American public couldn't stand Packer, but those voices weren't taken seriously until recently, as we as a country became firmly entrenched in the internet era, where everyone has an opinion- and it's usually negative.
During last year's Final Four game, with KU up 40-12 on Carolina (I swear this isn't just a lame excuse to bring this game up again...or is it?) Packer announced to the viewing audience: "This game.....is OVER." TV producers, and especially the companies paying millions for commercial time, obviously want as many as people watching as possible. So it's a major no-no to say something like that on-air (to say nothing of the fact that the game was NOT over, as Carolina went on a huge run and made a game of it again.) Anyways, the rumor was that CBS fired Packer over that comment he made, but the reality is that the writing had been on the wall for Packer for a few years now. It was only a matter of time until CBS finally gave in to the millions clamoring for Packer's head.
However, even though at times I have bitched about Packer, he will be missed tonight and Monday night, as I tune into my first Final Four ever that he doesn't provide the color commentary for. I know I'm solidly in the minority with this opinion, but here are my reasons for it:
1. Say what you will about Packer's snarky, grouchy, largely negative attitude (really my only beef with him) but you know what? He's usually right. He's had a couple of memorable gaffes: most famously in 2006, when he absolutely TORE INTO the selection committee on live TV, regarding the abundance of mid-majors making the tournament at the expense of BCS schools, in particular George Mason (who, in one big fuck you to both Packer and degenerate gamblers everywhere, became the first 11 seed to make the Final Four in history that year.)
But 95% of the time, Packer is dead on in his opinion. And when I'm watching basketball, I'm gonna choose to listen to an asshole who is usually right, over a pleasant guy who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Every time.
2. Which segues nicely into the next point: Clark Kellogg is kind of an idiot. Sounds like a great guy, probably fun to have in the booth, I'd certainly want to be friends with him....but kind of an idiot. I used to like Kellogg as an announcer when I was a kid (mostly because at that age, I thought every black person on the planet was cool) but then they shipped to the studio with Greg Gumbel, and since his return to announcing, it appears he's lost his skills. He's almost painful to listen to. This is probably where I should mention that if CBS had chosen to replace Packer with my boy Bill Raftery, as opposed to Kellogg, then I would NOT be writing this post right now. Peace out, Packer. It's been real. Send it in Jerome!
3. The last few years, I think that Nantz and Packer have settled into a nice little comfort zone. Earlier in their run together, I felt like Nantz let Packer walk all over him. I know that play-by-play men aren't supposed to voice their opinions too much, and leave that to the color guy, but when Nantz would offer some analysis, Packer would usually disagree, and Nantz would either quickly backtrack and agree with Packer, or just say nothing more about the topic.
Somewhere along the line, Nantz finally sacked up. I can picture him straightening his tie in the mirror and dusting the shoulders of his impeccable suit jacket: "Who the hell does Billy Packer think he is? I'm Jim Fucking Nantz! I'm gonna be the lead broadcaster at the Masters next week! I used to be roommates with Fred Couples! I do football games with Phil Simms! I own many leather-bound books....my apartment smells of rich mahogany!"
Once he started standing up for himself, it made their on-air chemistry that much better, in my opinion. Packer is like one of those big egos who will respect you more if you don't back down to him. The last couple years, Nantz began openly questioning Packer's opinions, and it was wonderful.
After Packer's "This game is OVER" comment last year, right as they were breaking to commercial, Nantz tersely cut in "Is it?" and I can imagine (fantasize?) what transpired over that commercial break:
Nantz: What the fuck was that? We got sponsors to look out for here.
Packer: Do you SEE the scoreboard? It's over!
Nantz: You think I don't know that? But now I've gotta deal with producers screaming in my ear. Pepsi is so pissed I bet they've called the studio twice already!
Packer: I'm just calling it like I see it.
Nantz: Well, I'm happy for you, Bill, but I've got more things to worry about than just that. This is a professional business. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula.
Packer: Jimmy, I'm sorry. I just-
Nantz: Save it, douchebag. We're back on in 5.
Annnnnnd scene.
4. My last reason is tradition. I'm a ridiculously nostalgic person, probably to a fault, and it'll just be sad watching the Final Four without Packer. I've grown quite accustomed to it. If CBS ever loses the broadcasting rights to the NCAA tournament, it could be an ugly scene. Picture me curled up on my bathroom floor, listening to the NCAA on CBS theme song on repeat on my iPod and softly weeping.
That....may not be an exaggeration.
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