How White Kids Make Fun Of Each Other

In the late 80's there were "Yo mama" jokes. Sometime in the 90's came "_____ called, he wants his ______ back" jokes. Later in the 90's and into the new millenium, battle rapping became popular (I mean, if you can't get pumped for the climatic scene in 8 Mile, you better check your pulse, bro! Fuck Free World! 313!!!)

And now, in 2009....we make fun of each other's facebook profiles. Here is a small play I have entitled "How to Lose a Friend in 10 Minutes."

(Note: this actually took place weeks ago, but I copied and pasted it, and saved it for a rainy day. "Rainy" meaning a day where due to crunching numbers, I lack the mental capacity to write anything remotely close to creative and besides I'm spending my lunch break watching The Masters on my computer because it's a Tradition Unlike Any Other- more like an Erection Unlike Any Other cause that's what I get when I catch my first glimpse of Augusta National Golf Course every year.)

Cast of characters:


- Me
- Jon, aka Jon-Jon, aka Jonye West, aka The World's Tallest Intern, aka The Big Polygraph


1:36pmJon
FACEBOOKIN at work yeah bra
gotta upload some photos from the weekend
yeah
wasted
it was awesome I don't even remember taking like half of them
it was crazy
wicked goodtime ...... from what I can remember

1:37pmJim
hahahahaaaa zing....do you see any photo albums in my profile

1:37pmJon
no because you won't give me access

1:37pmJim
hey check out my trip to europe, it was pretty awesome...no big deal though, just europe, you know, pretty cool place....

1:38pmJon
Check this out, so I went to this baseball game
this kid was a Sox fan
it's awesome

1:38pmJim
sooooo have you heard of the eiffel tower? yeah i've been there

1:38pmJon
pretty sweet
no I didn't know him, but he was a sox fan

1:38pmJim
look at this museum....here's the same picture, but now I'M in it, so it's a little more special
this building has been around since 1530.....OLD, right?

1:39pmJon
Yeah I have seen fever pitch ok....enough....oh hey while you cruzin my profile check out my blog that's sweet too

1:40pmJim
yeah, i've got a link for my blog too, but i haven't updated since george w. was president...you should still check it out though

1:40pmJon
what am I doing you ask
just living the dream
that's my activity I am into the most

1:41pmJim
hey wanna have a recruiting challenge for northern iowa basketball?
i'm just a waterboy, but i'm on my way up

1:41pmJon
ohh whats that you havent heard any good quotes from Dave Chappelle?
check out my profile
they are on there

1:41pmJim
my trivia score is a little low too, but fuck that, i'm not gonna study trivia, i don't have time for that, what with my europe trips and all

1:41pmJon
oh yeah and I don't really have any interests....OTHER THAN SPORTS

1:42pmJim
and check it out, i've got some answers to FAQs, cause if you make try and conversation about me being tall, I WILL WRECK YOU

1:42pmJon
I am just a gopher in the dave chappelle recruting challenge

1:43pmJim
what kind of music do i like? glad you asked....IMIN2EVERYTHING!!!!

1:43pmJon
All's I know is that if you cheer for the yankees
you make baby jesus cry
so I got this friend right, his name is paul, I thought it was soooo funny when he said "I'll have another"
omg

1:44pmJim
nuggets never judge.....that's only my third favorite quote, there are a couple other ones, but now that i re-read them they're pretty gay
i decided to start a new blog, just for my europe trip, cause i REALLY want to make sure you heard i went to europe...

1:45pmJon
so yeah my favorite quotes are from movies sooo what..I loved superbad...thought it was great...and dave chappelle, of course is on there...did i I tell you I am doing his recrutiing challenge
yah I am only a gopher, but the show's off the air so I can't really move up any more

1:46pmJim
i joined the suite 49 group cause I FUCKING LOVE DRINKING AT THE SUITE 49!!!! love gettin' bombed there, you can usually run into some UND hockey players....score!

1:46pmJon
I like most movies, but I know I like ALL THE STAR WARS
that's for sure
and boner jams '03
that was classic
I made it myself
actually me and my buddy paul did...do you know when he says "I'll have another" I LOL?


Annnnd scene. Don't worry, we're still friends. Sort of.