2008 In Review

For me, 2008 will probably be remembered as the year of weddings, and the year the Kansas Jayhawks made my life complete. But of course there was much more.

My favorite random things from the year 2008:

Best Movie: Dark Knight. I'm surprised this movie was as good as it was. It's not like it was hyped up very much, I had barely heard anything about it until it came out. What? Heath Ledger was awesome as The Joker? And now he's DEAD? I might have to check this baby out.

Funniest Movie: Role Models. A tip of the cap to Stepbrothers here, but Role Models was the funniest movie I've seen in the theaters since Superbad.

Most Disappointing Movie: Pineapple Express. Maybe the most disappointed I've ever been in a movie theater. If I hadn't been so busy cramming 4.5 pounds of popcorn in my face, I might've cried. As Rocky would ask Seth Rogen, "How did everything that was so good get to be so bad?"

Movies Inducted into the Hall of Fame: Only one this year: Hot Rod. Thank you James for bringing this when you visited in May. One of the funniest stupid movies ever. And to the people with the exact same sense of humor as me, who I have told a million times to go watch this movie (or better yet just buy it), and who haven't yet- you're hurting my feelings. When have I ever led you astray? Paul, Amber, Cheese- I'm glancing in your direction.

TV Shows Inducted into the Hall of Fame: Arrested Development. I'm not putting How I Met Your Mother in yet, since I'm only through a season and a half, but if it continues to be as funny as it has been so far, it's going to end up being in my top 3 favorite comedies of all time. Oh and I suppose if I'm giving props to James for Hot Rod, then I have to thank Ashley for Arrested Development.

Song of the Year: M79 by Vampire Weekend. I think technically it came out in 2007, but I didn't hear it until this year. Judges? We'll allow it.

Songs Inducted into the Hall of Fame: 'Hitsville UK' by the Clash, 'Take Me Home Tonight' by Eddie Money, 'Possum Kingdom' by The Toadies.

Trip of the Year: With apologies to The Greatest Place On Earth, I've got to go with the Kentucky Derby. The thing about Vegas is it is possible to not have a good time. If you go out and get killed gambling the first night, it can put a damper on the rest of your weekend as you try to conserve your funds. Not for me personally, I just love being in Vegas; but I've seen it happen to others. The Derby, on the other hand, is impossible to not have fun at. Even if you start taking a beating early, you can just gamble the minimum of $2 a race, and you'll be cheering just as hard as if you had a hundystick on it. The infield is like being at Springfest, only with at least 10x the people, better weather, mint juleps and hurricanes, southern girls in sundresses, and oh yeah, horse racing. Beyond gambling though, the whole experience is just fantastic. You could pull an ADawg and not gamble a dollar and still have a great time. Can't say enough good things about the Derby.

Wow what a paragraph. If the Kentucky Derby was a dude, I definitely just got done blowing him.

Best Personal Achievement, And When I Say Personal I Mean No One Cares But Me: At first thought, I was going to say my gambling this year was fantastic. I'm not normally a betting man, but I won enough money at the Derby to completely pay for my trip, plus a little something extra for my troubles. I won enough in Vegas to pay for everything but about half of my plane ticket (probably not enough to buy back my dignity after I waxed my legs within 5 hours of getting of the plane, though.)

However, I can't ignore last January's football playoffs. Good golly, what a fucking debacle. Starting last January 1st, Eli Manning could have snuck onto my porch every single night, poured out a bunch of water right outside my front door, let it freeze, then sat there until morning, wait for me to walk out the door and slip and fall, then take a picture of me lying on the ground, post it on a website called 31daysofHammenfallingonice.com......and he still wouldn't have ruined my January any more than he already did last year.

So gambling success is out, and instead I'm going with breaking par for the second time in my life. Bonus points because I made a 25 foot, uphill, treacherously breaking right-to-left putt to clinch it. And at the same time, it also clinched a match-play victory over Bergman & Fundy. That was neat.

If I'm Going To Brag About That, I Have To Mention This: Not two weeks later, during the Civil War Cup, I missed a 2 foot putt on 17 that would've sent the match to the 18th All Square. That was not so neat.

Day of the Year: April 7. C'mon, like I was picking anything besides the National Championship Game and Chalmers' shot. And this night will double as the Greatest Day of My Life until I get married or have a kid or something. And even then, my kid better be badass, or else this night is going right back into the top spot. You hear that, Future Kid? You better not suck.


Happy New Year, may 2009 be good to you all.


Oh yeah, almost forgot. I have to give props to all the hilarious drunk texties I received last night. My New Year's Eve of not doing anything was brightened up quite a bit by a lot of you crazy kids. Lot of people really getting after it last night, that's nice to see. It also inspired me to make a 6-run comeback with 1 out in the 9th against the Blue Jays' bullpen, capped off by a three-run-homer by JD Drew. I think I already have my Personal Achievement award for 2009. No big deal, though.