But as it turns out, I won't have to wait too long to be excited about sports again. I googled something called the "NHL" the other day, and whaddya know, their season just started up! I'll have to familiarize myself with the rules and the terminology (the only 'Face-off' I know of is a kick-ass movie starring Cage and Travolta) but I already have my favorite team: the Philadelphia Flyers. Their jerseys were the prettiest, in my opinion. Go Flyers! Put the....biscuit....in the.....um, basket.
OK, I apologize to the NHL fans who may be reading (should that even be plural?) That jab was a little unnecessary (and not really funny anyway.) In actuality, I loved following hockey when I was a kid, and my favorite team was the Flyers because apparently Bobby Clarke is my third cousin or something vague like that. Now, though, I couldn't name a single player on their roster. Lindros retired, right? Thought so.
See the resemblance?
In other disappointing sports news, the Civil War Cup was won by the Southerners on Saturday. If you don't care about golf, or you're just a dick, you can skip this next paragraph.
The first six holes of the match were a scramble format, and it started out as a back and forth battle (actually most of the match was back and forth; we didn't halve a hole until the 13th.) We were All Square on the 5th when Jud dropped a 60-footer for birdie, and that unnerved the Northerners a little bit. I began spraying balls all over the course (joining Lane in the process) and suddenly we were 4 down thru 10 holes, and it looked like we were going to get closed out early. Lane and I recovered to win holes 11 and 12 to finish the alternate shot portion 2 down, which is exactly where I hoped to be going into best ball. Sure enough, I started hitting some golf shots, the lead was cut to 1 down thru 14, and Jud and Wing were starting to come unglued. But then both Lane and I turned 15 into an adventure (so now we're 2 down) and we both lipped out 15-footers for par on 16 when either one of them would've won the hole, so the South was dormie going into the par-5 17th. Both Jud and Wing found water off the tee and made bogey, so I had about a 2-footer for par to win the hole and extend the match.....and I missed it. Just like Old Jim would. Definitely a fitting end, considering I had my 'D' game for about 12 of the 17 holes. But at least there was some drama, it was a ton of fun, and we look forward to taking the Cup back next spring.Lane, Jud, Wing, me. As a joke, we bought some shitty suit jackets at Goodwill that the winners were forced to wear the rest of the day at the bar (however, this backfired, and instead of getting ridiculed, everyone there seemed to love them.) My sweater vest, sadly, is not a joke. Also, I need to take pictures next to Wing more often. I look like I'm about 6'8''.
Question of the Day:
You are presented with an offer to fight Mike Tyson in a boxing match. (Side note: pretend you're fighting the version of Tyson that is the most intimidating for you. It can be "devastatingly awesome boxer of the mid-80's Tyson" or "convicted rapist of the early 90's Tyson" or "becoming unhinged a little bit, might bite your ear off Tyson of the late 90's" or "face covered in tattoos, hanging out with pigeons, unquestionably insane Tyson of the 2000's."
Speaking personally, the most intimidating of all the Tysons was definitely this one:
ANYWAY, this is a special boxing match. There will be no referees, no trainers to stop the fight, no one to save you from your imminent beating. Once the fight starts, it goes until the time is up. The money you stand to receive is as follows:
A) 1 minute for $1 million
B) 3 minutes for $5 million
C) 5 minutes for $15 million
D) 10 minutes for $30 million
Keep in mind the following factors: Tyson is allowed to keep pummeling you, even if you are suddenly missing an ear, unconscious, or dead. You are allowed to fight back anyway you can, as long as you stay in the ring. If that means you just try and run circles around the ring and avoid him for as long as possible, you can try that. Any hospital bills come out of your pocket. So if you choose the 10 minutes, and then you're hooked up to life support for a month, figure those costs out of your winnings. Also remember that most brain damage is permanent. You can, of course, choose none of the above and just not do it.
Which option would you choose?
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