October Weddings: Why?

Anyone who gets married in October may as well just set the flag on fire, since it's obvious that they hate America. C'mon, baseball is our national pasttime. Don't these couples see the commercials? THERE'S ONLY ONE OCTOBER!

(Side note: I know that listening to Dane Cook scream that about 9 times a day last year was annoying, but I don't think it's much worse than the commercials this year where we get to watch Spanish from Old School sitting and blogging about playoff baseball on his computer. Please ignore the fact that I am currently sitting and blogging about playoff baseball.)

Tomorrow I leave for Napoleon, ND (pop. 794) for ADawg and Bobbi's wedding, and I'm missing far too much baseball for me to be comfortable with it. At least the Red Sox don't play on Saturday during the reception, or we'd have some problemos, amigos. The silver lining is that I get to watch some games in Fargo with Fundy on Thursday. Octobers at Culligan Manor were always a shitshow. Getting the two of us together for some beers and playoff baseball is like Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut meeting for a nice dinner at a hot dog stand.

The last October wedding that made me miss a Sox game was back in 2004, when a wedding in Minneapolis took place during Game 3 of the ALDS against the Angels. That worked out OK though, as it was open bar for the first part of the evening, so I would just fill my pockets to the brim with Miller Lite, sneak upstairs for a couple innings, go back down and get my funk on for awhile, then repeat the process. When Ortiz hit the walk-off, I started celebrating, until Travis came into the room and asked me why I was shotgunning a beer...by myself. Ahhh October 2004, I'm still in love with you, as much now as when I first met you.

I should probably be a little more worried about the Angels, considering they went 8-1 against Boston this year, and had the best record in baseball, and there are nagging injuries galore for the Sox (I don't want to sound like a homer, but screw it: if Boston had been anywhere close to healthy this year, they would've won at least 102 games.) But until the Angles prove they can win a game against Boston in the playoffs, I won't be overly concerned, at least by my standards. I think Danny Torrance wants to go back to the Overlook Hotel more than John Lackey wants to return to Fenway Park to pitch in the playoffs. If Lackey starts talking to an imaginary friend and writing REDRUM on his bedroom walls, they should probably skip his turn in the rotation.

I'm also a pseudo-Cubs fan this year, as it looks as though we're heading to Chi-town next weekend, and besides visiting people, a main reason I want to go there this time of year is to see that town rock out when the Cubbies are making a run. Not the White Sox though. Fuck the White Sox, the only team I hate more than them is the Yankees. That was pretty sweet how a bunch of their players have been bleaching their hair and/or chin pubes. I didn't know this was the North Dakota high school hockey tournament. That's bush. I wanted the Twins to win last night, just for the possibility of a Boston/Minnesota ALCS. Things could've got rowdy here in our little corner of the World Wide Web. 17-21 record for the Twins since the day Jon-Jon threw out the first pitch.....just a little food for thought.

All joking aside, I am very excited for ADawg's wedding, baseball or no baseball. In the spirit of the constant ADawg/Michael J. Fox jokes, there is a pretty good chance that this dance is getting dusted off sometime on Saturday night (skip to about the 30-second mark or so.) If it were my choice, it would be the dollar dance, but I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.