It's A Beard-Off, Folks.....It's A Beard-Off

Beard-Off 2008 has officially begun. From today until November 7th, neither Mike nor Noles will be shaving, in order to settle the dispute of who has the better beard. There has been a considerable amount of hype leading up to the event. Beard-Off promoter Don King is calling it "The Shave of the Century: Big Trouble Over Facial Stubble" and claiming "There hasn't been two beards this important, together in the same forum, since Ulysses Grant and Robert E. Lee negotiated the end of the Civil War."

Noles is the People's Champion, the overwhelming favorite, so much so that Vegas has officially taken this match off the board. None of which has stopped Mike from running his mouth in an attempt to intimidate Noles' facial hair folicles. Mike has been calling Noles the deragatory term "White Man's Champ" at every turn. He was quoted recently as saying "I'm fast. I'm so fast that last night I turned off my lights and was in bed before the room was dark." When asked what that had to do with growing a beard, he replied "I'm gonna lather like a butterfly and shave like a bee. Your face can't grow what your eyes can't see!"

"It's gonna be a chilla, and a thrilla, and a killa, when I get to that Gorilla. He gonna be drawing in his beard with pencil filla!"



Noles, in turn, has responded with the quiet confidence befitting of a champion. With a cool assurance about him, he confidently stated "I ain't too worried about this punk. He can call me the White Man's Champ all he wants. He may as well be the White Man's Chump. Forget that fool....I've been shaving since I came out the womb, son. I was born at noon and I had a 5 o'clock shadow. Shit, my moms was gettin' Mach 5s at her baby shower, since they already seen the ultrasound and they seen stubble on my face."

We will have a one week update to gauge the process, and then on Friday, November 7th we will have a vote where you, the people, will be deciding the winner.

In one corner, from Chicago, Illinois.......the challenger, the Monster of the Midway, the Caucasian Sensation, the Best of the Rest of the Whole Midwest.....Mike!!!!!

In the other corner, from Fergus Falls, Minnesota, and the pride of Grand Forks, the People's Champion, the Nightmare of the Northland, the 6th Grader Razor Raider.....Noles!!!!

As William Shakespeare once said,

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man."