This Burrito Is Delicious, But It's Filling!

So checking my email this week, a couple of things stood out for me. I am a member of the Royals' email list, so I can get good deals on tickets and things of that nature, but I am starting to question if it's worth it or not, due to the amount of garbage emails I have to delete from them. Especially this week. As soon as Jose Guillen was announced as one of the finalists for the final all-star roster spot, they began bombarding my account with emails telling me to go vote, which I finally did, to see if it would get them to stop. Ohhhh no. After I voted once, they re-doubled their efforts, telling me to vote again. All told, I received 21 emails in 4 days to vote for Jose Motherfucking Guillen (who I do actually believe should make the team, I only use the term motherfucking because I am annoyed with the constant emails), who still took last place in the AL vote, if I'm not mistaken. Whatever, I did my part. I'm not even a Royals fan.

The other interesting email of note was for a celebrity basketball game being played in Kansas City this weekend. I use the term 'celebrity' very loosely here. The three 'celebs' they featured with photos are Brody Jenner (if I wouldn't have chosen to murder Spencer, I would've chosen Brody) Jason from Laguna Beach, and Stephen from Laguna Beach. Basically, three of the biggest ass clowns in human history. Clearly they are marketing this exhibition game to 15-year-old girls, because I sure as hell wouldn't want to go watch this blow job festival. While reading through the email, however, my mind went through three phases:

1. What kind of game is this? Who in the hell, besides high school girls, would go see a 'celebrity' basketball game with these idiots in it?

2. Then I started reading through the rest of the rosters: Nick Swardson, JP from Grandma's Boy, the black guy from Scrubs, Nathan Scott from One Tree Hill. Now my ridicule of the game tapers a bit; some of my boys are playing in it.

3. Wait a second...only 10 bucks for the chance to openly heckle retards from MTV reality shows? Hmmm.....

If I wasn't busy moving apartments this weekend, you may have found this headline in the Lawrence Journal-World on Sunday:

Local Douchebag Arrested After Altercation with Even Bigger Douchebags

I would've turned that exhibition game into the Ron Artest Brawl, only replace "bad-ass, potentially insane black guys" with "skinny white kids who are afraid to throw the first punch."

I decided not to really write anything about Ike's wedding. 5 days of shenanigans is too much to sort through, plus I've been friends with pretty much everyone in that friend group since elementary school, so most of our jokes are inside jokes, and the stories wouldn't be funny to the layperson. I know everyone says "OMG, I have the funniest friends ever!! LOL" but I'm telling you, I have the funniest friends ever....LOL.

In the interest of fairness (if this was someone else, you better believe this picture would be going up) I will post this picture from the wedding. The MC caught Ike and I in a compromising embrace on the dance floor; maybe the gayest picture since the cover of the Brokeback Mountain DVD. If you click on it and enlarge it, it's even worse.

I'm pretty sure we would've started making out if that lady tapping my shoulder hadn't interrupted us.

What makes this funny to me is that the following is a picture of the MC right after he took it, showing it to me and asking me if he wanted me to delete it. I was a few beers deep by this time (a few = 20) and my response was something to the effect of "Fuck it, dude. Leave it in. I love that bastard, I don't care who knows it."

I appears from my expression that I even enjoy the picture with Ike a little bit. I thought I got all the experimenting out of my system during college. This is troubling.

Normally this is the point where I would wish everyone a Happy Friday, but I'm not doing anything fun this weekend, so as a result, I don't care if you have a Happy Friday or not. It's week number 2 of a 4-week No Getting Sauced Plan. The month of June was out of control. Between Vegas, the College World Series, Lane's b-day, and the wedding week in GF, I felt like I was 19 again. I'm not getting crunk, so neither should you.