I Want That

So while we were in Chicago a few weeks ago, I made a passing comment to Chelsey that ever since I was a youngster, I had wanted one of those semi-circle American flags that they always drape over the infield walls during the baseball playoffs (one of these, for the non-baseball fans.) And just like a Mom who remembers how one year in like April you said you liked Super MarioKart more than Sonic the Hedgehog, so she went and bought a Super Nintendo and wrapped it for Christmas***, Chelsey went to the store as soon as we left town, bought me a flag, and mailed it me. (For the record, if I had known that one could just stroll into Michael's and buy these flags, rest assured my bedroom would've been covered in them from the time I was 9 years old. In my mind, they were these mystical flags produced by Major League Baseball, that were unavailable to the public. I'm an idiot.)

***This is a PURELY hypothetical example. Yes, my mother was amazing at remembering some throw-away comment and turning that into a Christmas present months later, but NOT if it involved video games. She hated them with a burning passion. She spent the majority of my childhood on a one-woman mission to eliminate video games, like Tipper Gore in the mid-80s crusading for music censorship.***

Anyways, now that the flag is hanging on the wall and it feels like October in our apartment, I was reminded of other ridiculous things that I've wanted for years and years and never been able to acquire, for one reason or another.

Back in college, Schne and I were entertaining the idea of buying a short bus, with the idea that we could use it to drive around and party in, or just park it outside of a party/bar and sleep in at night. Schne found one for something ridiculous like $500, but we never pulled the trigger on it, mostly because we didn't want to pay insurance on it. I still regret that. That's real talk.

I would've definitely bought a Golden Tee machine about 5 years ago, I had some bids going on ebay, an arrangement worked out with Brother that he would drive out to New Jersey and pick it up for me so I could save on shipping....until I realized there would've been absolutely no way to get it inside Culligan Manor, what with all the right angles and low archways. Luckily I got outbid, or else there might still be a Golden Tee sitting on the roof of the Manor right now.

And the crown jewel of them all....the random thing I want more than anything in the world.....the wheel from the Showcase Showdown from The Price Is Right. I'm not even a big fan of the show, and I'm definitely no Barney Stinson or anything, but for some reason I've always loved that wheel. Love how it looks, love how it sounds, love it love love it. I've scoured the interwebs for years, trying to find a crazy guy who has one on ebay or something, but no dice. I would pay almost any amount of money to own one. Think about that monstrosity in Culligan. The possibilities would have been endless. (Or more accurately, there would've been one possibility: we would've spent almost every night spinning the TPIR wheel and playing drinking games. Fuck Macroeconomics class today dude, I'm gonna stay home and spin the wheel! We should probably go to Happy Harry's and grab a case first, though.)


I enjoyed this picture on Google because I'm not sure if this chick is getting ready to spin the wheel, or doing the 'Thriller' dance and there just happens to be a TPIR wheel in the background. I'm about 60/40 it's 'Thriller' dance.


Other pipe dreams: building a zip line from the Culligan roof to Charlie Brown's using a clothesline, bike handlebars, and a pile of mattresses; and building a gerbil tube to the neighbors roof using duct tape and a bunch of hula hoops (I think that was Kos' idea.)

So if anyone happens to find a TPIR wheel for sale, let me know. Until then, I'll make do with my World Series-style American flag.