Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Little-Known Facts About Alex Rodriguez


--When A-Rod is on the first date with a new girl, he immediately grabs the check as soon as the waiter sets it down. When she makes the token offer to pay, he thinks it over for a couple seconds, then lets her pay for her half of the meal. But he gets the tip.

--A-Rod thought that the last Lord of the Rings movie could've used some more endings, because "it just didn't tie up all the loose ends."

--A-Rod says he'll be the DD, but then gets drunker than everyone else and makes someone else drive his car home because he really needs it the next morning.

--When A-Rod is riding in the car with someone, and he gets a call on his cell, he turns the radio way down so he can hear. But if his buddy has to make a call, and he goes to turn down the music, A-Rod yells, "Hey! I was listening to that!" and cranks the volume back up.

--A-Rod claims he knows what is in the briefcase at the end of Pulp Fiction, but won't tell anyone because "it's much cooler if you figure it out yourself."

--When A-Rod is taking a road trip with his friends, he has to stop in a gas station in every state to get a magnet in the shape of that state, even if they don't need gas and no one needs to go to the bathroom.

--When A-Rod eats at Olive Garden, he'll give less of a tip because the free breadsticks were a little on the dry side.

--While at the bar with buddies, A-Rod will go up to buy a beer, make sure no one is looking, grab a coaster, and scribble down a fake woman's name and fake number, then come back to the table and brag that some random chick just came up and started hitting on him, so he got her number, but he's probably not gonna call her.

--A-Rod claims to have the best workout playlist ever on his iPod, but really it's just the live version of Thunderstruck by AC/DC repeated 18 times.

--A-Rod says things like, "No excuses, play like a champion!" and tries to pass it off as his own, because he doesn't think that many people have seen Wedding Crashers yet.

--If you go golfing with A-Rod and you get a cart, he won't let you drive once the entire 18 holes.

--When A-Rod goes to a wedding, he wears a tux to the reception so it looks like he was in the wedding party too.

--When everyone else in the group is on their phone texting people, A-Rod feels left out, so he pulls out his phone and starts texting people too. Only he doesn't have anyone to text, so really he's just scrolling through the main menu over and over again, but it totally looks like he's texting someone.

--When A-Rod plays paper-rock-scissors, he always hesitates for a split second before he shoots so he can see what the other person is doing first. He still doesn't win very often, though.

--A-Rod is one of those guys who includes his nickname in his facebook profile, so it says Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez.

--If you're splitting a pizza with A-Rod and you're down to the last two slices, he'll take the bigger one, then only eat half of it and waste the rest, because he wasn't that hungry anyway.

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