On my mind....
Has anyone ever seen a tough-looking goth kid? I haven't. If a goth kid was big and strong and tough, then nobody would pick on him or bully him, and if they did decide to make fun of him, they would get their ass kicked, and then that goth kid wouldn't have to get into guns and shoot the school up.
When Dick Vitale is making his prediction for national champ, does he have a coin labeled "Duke" and "North Carolina" that he flips, or does he stop and think about every other team in the country before eventually settling on one of those two?
What is Kriss Kross doing now? Do you think their supervisor at KFC lets them wear their uniforms backward?
'Cuz inside out....is wiggida wiggida wiggida WACK!!!
This is for people with uni-sex names. I ask Alex this all the time, so I'll use her as an example: if she met a dude also named Alex, and they hit it off crazy right away, and he was hands-down the greatest guy she ever met, would she start dating him since they had the same name? Would it be an automatic deal-breaker? How life-alteringly awesome would this guy or girl have to be to want to date them, factoring in the name situation? Has anyone heard of any couple like this?
When Adam Sandler has all his buddies act in all his movies (for example, the guy who plays his caddy in Happy Gilmore, a gay guy in Big Daddy, the lame girl-chaser who dresses like Michael Jackson in Wedding Singer, etc. etc.) how much does that buddy get paid? Enough so that he doesn't have to have another job? Does he ever run low on money, start getting nervous, and call Sandler up and say "Hey, dude, you workin' on another flick yet? I only got about three weeks' worth of pot left, man."
Who comes up with names of carpet samples? Our office is in the process of getting new carpet, so I took the opportunity to flip through the sample book, and, frankly, it opened my eyes to a whole new world of douchebaggery. Here are some actual names of carpet patterns:
Handcuffs
Chain Letter
Blind Date
Sisterhood
Crazy Like a Fox
Darwin's Theory (my personal favorite)
Tremble With Fear
Wedding Vows
Crazy In Love
What?!? Let's get serious.
When (if) you were following the Maryland basketball team that won the 2002 National Championship, did you ever, EVER, think that the best pro on that team 5 years later would be Steve Blake?
What would happen if society changed the traffic rules so that cars always had the right-of-way instead of pedestrians? Walking in a busy downtown area would turn into an episode of American Gladiators.
The signs that people make at sporting events where they take the initials of the TV network and spell out something stupid....what is the shelf life on those things? I know they're not funny or clever now, and I doubt they were in 1972.
Lance Armstrong....are you serious? You, my friend, are currently dating a girl that was a star on a very popular TV show from the mid-90's that also featured the likes of Bob Saget and Dave Coulier. Not a real big deal, I guess, as long as that girl is Aunt Becky. The problem, however, lies with the fact that on this TV show, your girlfriend played a fucking TODDLER. Now I understand you have to have a cover so people will ignore the fact that you and McConaughey are always shirtless together, but still.....are you serious?
McConaughey: "Hey, bro, whaddya listening to right now?"
Armstrong: "Fuckin' Maroon 5, dude. Who else?"
McConaughey: "Me too! Damn, we have so much in common!"
Armstrong: "No doubts, no doubts. We're just a couple of regular dudes who love to go jogging while rocking out to Maroon 5. Wanna watch some Real World after our run, or what?"
McConaughey: "Sounds awesome, BroStrong! Hear that, I just called you BroStrong, kinda like LiveStrong, but I changed it up a little bit."
Armstrong: "Totally sweet, dude. Totally."
McConaughey: "Hey, did you ever get around to asking Ashley about what Mary Kate thinks about me? I mean, she would go for a regular dude like me, right?"
At the beginning of Michael Jackson's song Black Or White, and that kid is rocking out to some song and his dad is yelling at him to turn it down, is that a real song he's listening to? It sounds kinda sweet. I always wanna be like "No, Dad, this is the best part, I'm gonna listen to it, OK?" right along with him. And while we're here, I heard the rumor that it is Macaulay Culkin doing that part. No way, but it does sound a LOT like Smalls from The Sandlot. Anyone know?
Was Doug Funnie the biggest main character loser in TV history? I guess I stopped watching Doug when I started noticing members of the opposite sex, and discovering hair in places where there was no hair before, but as far as I know, I don't think he ever came close to ever getting a piece from Patty Mayonnaise. Just tell her you're obsessed with her!!! Girls love that. Plus, his fantasy superhero self wore his underwear outside his pants and a belt on his head. That's brutal.
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