Here We Go

Another college basketball season is upon us, and for the third time in my life, KU holds the preseason #1 ranking. So why haven't you been hearing me brag and talk a bunch of shit about it? Because I am older, wiser, and scarred from past experiences. The first time KU was preseason #1 ('96-'97) they rolled through the regular season with just loss, only to get stunned by Arizona in the Sweet 16- leaving me catatonic on my bedroom floor in my Jacque Vaughn jersey. The second time ('04-05) they started out the year crushing everybody, stumbled down the stretch, had some injuries, and lost in the first round to fucking Bucknell- leaving me passed out amidst a pile of empty beer cans on a bridge in downtown Indianapolis like a homeless guy. So needless to say, this scenario hasn't exactly led to good things in the past. Now I know that the preseason #1 ranking is completely worthless. All that being said....

....holy hell am I excited for this season to get started. While I would take the 2008 starting five (Robinson, Chalmers, Rush, Jackson, Arthur) over this starting five (probably Collins, Taylor, Henry, Mc Morris, Aldrich) I've never seen a KU team as deep as this one, top to bottom. They have 14 guys who could play legitimate minutes for any team in the country. 14.

Off the court, it's been one of the worst offseasons in KU history, between the brawl with the football team, Brady's DUI, and the local media jumping into the mix and basically making up stories in order to fuel the fire (probably should've researched the story behind Pollard's car for longer than three minutes before you released it, dipshits.....no big deal though.) But from a basketball standpoint, things couldn't have gone better. Both Collins and Aldrich decided to come back for one more year. The Henry brothers ditched Memphis and brought their crazy talent (and equally crazy dad) to Lawrence. Tyshawn Taylor improved in leaps and bounds, and was the MVP of the Under-19 Team USA that won gold this summer. The Morris twins, the biggest source of frustration for KU fans last year, bulked up 20-30 pounds each, rediscovered an old shot they had in their high school aresenal called a 'slam dunk', and didn't shoot anybody with a BB gun from their dorm room window. Freshman Thomas Robinson, recruited mostly for his rebounding and hustling abilities, has already rubbed off on the entire team and created a whole new mindset during practice.

The biggest concerns I have are all trivial:

Being so deep, there simply aren't enough minutes to go around. As a result, a couple of really solid players are going to have to redshirt (Travis Releford and Mario Little?) Can those guys accept that, or will there be bad attitudes and/or transfers?

Once Brady comes back from suspension, will all his minutes be taken by Xavier Henry? Brady's jersey was well on his way to making my Wall of Fame, but that could be in jeopardy now. One of the funniest sentences I've ever read on ESPN was just a couple days ago, when some writer penned the line "The Jayhawks hope that Xavier Henry can fill Brady Morningstar's minutes while he serves his suspension." Really? They HOPE that the #3 recruit in the entire country can make up for the absence of a white kid from Lawrence who takes 4 shots per game? Good research.

Why did Robinson have to choose #0 as his jersey number? The only thing lamer than that is the dreaded #00. Why do otherwise good KU players continue to choose these stupid numbers? Ostertag, Gooden, Arthur, now Robinson. Brutal.

Why did Bill Self institute a no facial hair rule? I mean, it's not quite Johnny Damon having to cut his Jesus-esque haircut-and-beard combo when he signed with the Yankees, but still....Sherron's chin strap beard was pretty sweet, and the Morris twins' goatees and sideburns were kinda baller. Give Brady a couple of months without a razor, and I bet he grows a mean 'stache, too. I blame the football team for instigating that brawl that led to this punishment.


Plus, facial hair was the only discernible way to tell the Morris twins apart. P.S. is it really necessary for both of you to get the exact same tattoos? You're already identical twins. Is this the Parent Trap?


So it's time to strap in and enjoy the ride, something that I'm much more well equipped to do since the title in '08. Old Hammen would already be on edge, hoping that this was the year KU finally won the title, yet waiting for the guillotine to drop and my heart to be crushed yet again. But New Hammen...New Hammen has a bunch of championship game DVDs and memorabilia in his pocket, and now he just wants to watch basketball and be happy.

Remember I said this when it's the second round of the NCAA tournament, and KU is down 10 to an 8-seeded team from the Big East at the under-8 TV timeout in the second half, with Collins battling cramps and Aldrich on the bench with four fouls.

Seriously, remind me.