Babaganoosh!

Here's a story from today's GF Herald: Lucky Shot.


OK I know that roughly 95% of you didn't just click that link, because you're all lazy bastards. A recent online survey reported that 95% of all internet surfers are "lazy." However, there is a large margin of error, as only about 17 people took the time to click the link and fill out the online survey.

Regardless, I will now reward your laziness by just telling you the gist of the story. Basically, one of my dad's cop buddies invited him to come fire off a couple of rounds at the police department's gun range. My pops went in the back door, sort of a VIP entrance type of thing, and while he was waiting for his buddy to come get him, he dropped his box of ammo and a round went off. Now I'm not a hunter, and I'm only a wannabe gang banger, so I don't really know how guns work, but apparently that's like a one-in-a-million occurrence.

So a bunch of cops come flying at him, guns drawn, screaming, yada yada yada. They cuff my dad and keep him under custody until they recover the slug, investigate it, and determine that it indeed hadn't been fired from a gun. The news and paper get a hold of it, there's a huge mob at the door, and so the cops sneak him out the back to avoid the crush. The media still got some footage though, so my pops was featured on the news for a hilarious story.

The first article in the GF Herald online (posted last night) was pretty bush league, but the one I linked (from this morning) is pretty tame. The first article made my pops out to be a somewhat shady dude, and insinuated that his story could be bullshit. It featured quotes from the police Captain such as "at this point, this supports his story" which at first pissed me off. Like there's a fucking ongoing investigation! They found the slug, it hadn't been shot, he had a permit for his gun, he had numerous friends in the police department vouching for him, and he was released without further incident. Case closed. Get bent, Captain.

But then I realized how easy it is to be biased in these situations. If I had just been reading some random online article from Bumblefuck, Vermont, I would've first told myself to get a life and stop reading online newspapers from imaginary towns in New England, and then I would've been like "yeah sure, buddy, you 'dropped the box of ammo.' Haha, what a douchebag." But since this was about my dad, I was getting slightly offended at the report, so I had to laugh. Then they cleaned up the story this morning anyway. I haven't seen the actual paper, but judging on how it was the top story on the online version, I'm guessing this was front page news, which says a little something about GF, too.

Apparently my pops was hassled a bit by the Capt. once they found out he belonged to a motorcycle club, and listening to him bitch about this was, I think, the funniest part of the story. He was angry that he was being pigeonholed as a potentially bad guy since he belonged to an "outlaw motorcycle gang" and was upset that these clubs still had negative connotations attached to them. His best quotes:

"I mean, c'mon, it's not 1965 anymore, and we're not the Hells Angels."

and this doozy, which nearly made me hit the floor laughing:

"Now I know how black people feel."

Oh shit I died laughing at that. My dad, leading the motorcycle club member civil rights movement. What a dork. Love ya, big guy.

Annnnyway Big Jack is really, really embarrassed by the whole thing, so if you are still in the Greater Grand Forks area, you should absolutely take advantage of this and make fun of him every chance you get.