Pass The Turkey, Please

Here is an actual excerpt from an email from my mom:

"I picked up a 23-pound turkey from the store last night, so there should be enough dark meat for you AND other people."

This precaution stems from Thanksgiving 2001, during which my goal (which I accomplished, by the way, a-thank you) was to eat all the dark meat from the entire turkey by myself.

Thanks, Mom. Gotcha. Loud and clear. I'm fat.