From 1 To 30

In lieu of an NBA preview, which I don't have the energy to make, here is my order of favorite teams. This started out as a lame cop-out of a post, but turned out to be pretty hard to do for an entire league. This list changes from year to year, besides the Knicks. Danny, I know you can do this if I can.

1. New York Knicks- 17 years and counting.

If only Jeff Graves would've done this to 'Melo during the 2003 National Championship.


2. New Orleans Hornets- Found myself strangely cheering for them last year, then they drafted my boy Julian.

3. Boston Celtics- Pierce, Jesus, KG, Big Baby.

4. Chicago Bulls- Hinrich. Would be higher, but they drafted Noah, plus there is residue from the mid-90's left over in my brain that makes it impossible to really love the Chicago Bulls.

5. Phoenix Suns- Love their style of play. Rivalry with Lakers gives them the nudge to top 5.

6. Golden State Warriors- " " " ". " " " Mavericks " " " " top 6.

7. Portland Trail Blazers- Next year: Oden, Roy, Aldridge, Fill in the blank top 5 pick. Holy shit.

8. Houston Rockets- Yeah, I'm surprised they're this high too.

9. Toronto Raptors- Fun to watch.

10. Seattle SuperSonics- Move to Oklahoma City already. Better yet, K.C.

11. Denver Nuggets- Time bomb of a team. Carmelo keeps them from being higher.

12. Milwaukee Bucks- We used to mercilessly rip on Charlie Villanueva. He was guaranteed captain of the All-Ugly Team every year. Then we found out he has a disease. Now I kind of like him. Is that bad?

In retrospect, we probably should've known that Charlie suffered from Alopecia areata.

13. Miami Heat- Shaq.

14. Orlando Magic- This ranking is sure to drop once Redick starts getting real minutes. Nice mohawk, J.J.

15. Washington Wizards- Once Arenas leaves, they will go down to bottom 5.

16. Atlanta Hawks- I officially have no feelings either way from here through #20.

17. Memphis Grizzlies

18. L.A. Clippers

19. Sacramento Kings

20. Philadelphia 76ers

21. Minnesota Timberwolves- Look at your roster. How do you cut Wayne Simien?

22. Cleveland Cavaliers- Booorrriinnggg. Wake me up if Lebron is doing something amazing.

23. Indiana Pacers- Pretty sure I can only name like 5 players on their whole team. O'Neal, Granger, Tinsely, Dunleavy, Murphy....yep. 5. Foster? Maybe 6.

24. Detroit Pistons- Let someone else make the Eastern Conference finals. Geez.

25. Utah Jazz- Carlos Boozer, plus they ended Golden State's run last year.

26. Dallas Mavericks- Babies. Only Jason Terry keeps them from being lower.

27. Charlotte Bobcats- Way too many Tar Heels on this team.

28. San Antonio Spurs- Manu Ginobli: You suck. Go play soccer.

Give him a yellow card or something.

29. New Jersey Nets- Any team that has Vince Carter is guaranteed bottom 5. As a bonus, when we were bullshitting with the Suns after a game in Fargo back in high school, the only player who big-leagued us was Jason Kidd.

30. L.A. Lakers- In the days of Van Exel and Shaq, they were my #2. Thanks, Kobe. Sorry, Danny.