I've only made one blatantly racist comment to a minority's face in my life***. It was a few years ago, shortly after I moved to Kansas. We were about 20 beers deep (not an excuse, I know) and on our way to The Outhouse (I know, I know...still not an excuse) when we went into a gas station with a couple of Indians working behind the counter, and I exclaimed "Hey, what's up, Kumar and...Kumar!" Not my proudest moment. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Over the last year or so, this same gas station has become one of my go-to's for gas, chew, and individual cans of Coca-Cola Classic. Besides location, a big reason that it took the #1 spot in my rotation of gas stations is because one of the "Kumars" from that incident a few years ago recognized me, enjoyed the Kumar joke, and has been breaking my balls every time I've walked in there since. He screws with me, I screw with him; it's quite an entertaining relationship. If he's behind the counter, I know it's not going to be a boring trip to the gas station. And all because I made a racially insensitive joke while shitfaced and on my way to a BYOB strip club. Networking skills, son. Networking skills.
(Also, the gas station in question is almost always an interesting place to be. Hippies, homeless guys....just yesterday the guy in front of me in line had a marmoset monkey just chillin' on his shoulder while he paid for his merch. Lawrence people....The Shamrock on 9th and Ohio. Make it happen.)
***Not counting Russell. His Tiger Woods-lookin' ass deserves it though. Plus everybody knows how stupid Hawaiians are.
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