Why Early 90's Video Games Are Hilarious...

...I finished my season in Tecmo Super Bowl. Ricky Watters finished with 12,164 yards and 133 touchdowns....and didn't even win Offensive Player of the Year. William Thomas had 154 tackles and 66 sacks, but was somehow beaten out for Defensive Player of the Year. I would love to see the programming that goes into selecting the award winners for old school games like that. I'm not even mad, that's amazing. Don't worry, they both made the Pro Bowl though.

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Here's why I think Duke/North Carolina is either the greatest or, at worst, second greatest rivalry in sports (Red Sox/Yankees being the other): I absolutely despise both teams. I hate everything about them. Along with whomever John Calipari is currently coaching, they are my three least favorite college basketball teams in the country. And yet tonight, like every time they play, I'll be watching the entire game. Because it's a great rivalry. Lots of people around here try to claim that KU/Missouri is better, or that Duke/Carolina is only a hyped-up rivalry because ESPN says so, and that's just stupid. People who continue to blame ESPN for everything are starting to annoy me. Just stop watching three hours of Sportscenter every day if you hate it so much.

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I got crushed on my Super Bowl prop bets, probably the worst I've ever done, but I cleaned up on the random $1 side bets our party made throughout the game. Awesome. The $13 in wrinkled dollar bills I brought home from the party totally make up for the bloodbath that were my real bets. So I've got that going for me...which is nice. (Why are all the clips from Caddyshack of Carl Spackler telling his Dalai Lama speech disabled on youtube?!?!!? What a disaster.)

Also from the Super Bowl: three people compared me to three different commercials, independently of each other. Amanda said that she was reminded of me, both in looks and creepiness, when the guy in the Doritos commercial was licking Doritos dust off of other people's fingers and pants......the Nuessen sisters think I could've starred in the commercial with Faith Hill where the guy writes "Your rack is unreal" on an online card and flowers......and my Aunt totally thought of me when she saw the little kid running around in the Darth Vader suit trying to use the Force on things. I don't know whether to be honored that people are thinking of me, or to be offended- especially since all three commercials don't exactly paint a flattering comparison. Really, Nelle and Jillian? You can see me writing a card to a ladyfriend that says "Your rack is unreal"? I'm a wordsmith, son.