What Do Taco Bell And Ugly Girls Have In Common?

Answer: they're both only appealing when you're crushed.

Here is a purely hypothetical situation, the question to keep in mind while reading: Is Guy A an asshole?

Let's say that a bunch of people are at Bar A. Beer is flowing, old jokes are being thrown around, good times are being had by all. Girl A mentions to Guy A that she is leaving her car at the bar that night and walking home, since she doesn't want to drive home hammered, and has been enjoying long walks lately. Guy A commends her on her responsibility, and expresses surprise that she is willing to walk 5 miles home at 2 a.m. Girl A assures Guy A that it's not too far, and boasts of her recent exercise habits. Guy A has some doubts about her ability to walk home given her history of, um, not walking anywhere, ever. Guy A tells her, "Well, have fun with that then. You'll be regretting this one later on, and don't come crying to me for a ride, it's wayyy out of my way and it's not gonna happen."

A couple hours later, with her car still at Bar A, and the group now at Bar B, Girl A makes a passing comment to Guy A that maybe walking home isn't that fantastic of an idea. Guy A laughs and says, "Shocker." Girl A broaches the subject of maybe Guy A giving her a ride home. Guy A, whose place of residence is nowhere near Girl A and is not too keen on driving all over town when he himself has consumed quite a few beverages of alcoholic nature as well, politely refuses. Well, maybe not politely. He more or less laughs in her face and tells her, "No fucking chance."

Closing time. Guy A is going to Taco Bell, since it is on his way home, and crunchwrap supremes taste de-fucking-licious while intoxicated. Girl A once again asks for a ride home. Guy A again denies her, tells her she should've thought about this when she left her car at Bar A, but offers her a ride to Taco Bell, since it is on the way, and will cut about a mile off her walk. Girl A accepts. Guy A reiterates, "But ONLY to Taco Bell. Then you're getting out." Girl A informs Guy A that she fully understands the arrangement.

After the Taco Bell drive thru, Guy A says, "Well. This is your stop. Have a fun walk." Girl A becomes upset. She begins whining, "You're really NOT giving me a ride home?" Guy A assures that yes, he really isn't giving her a ride home. He once again reminds her about her bragging all night that she WANTED to walk home, and reminds her how Guy A prophesized 4 hours ago that she would be sorry, and told her at that point that she better not come begging for a ride later.

Girl A calls Guy A several unflattering names, and reluctantly exits the vehicle. Guy A pulls out of the parking lot, beeps his horn and happily waves at Girl A standing in the parking lot in disbelief, breezes through the last 2.5 minutes of his drive home, ignores 3 phone calls and 2 texties from Girl A, and demolishes his crunchwrap supreme before falling into a dreamless slumber.

So is Guy A

1) an asshole

2) simply a guy who, if the situation arose, would not be coming in under a .08, and didn't want to turn a 5 minute drive through mostly residential neighborhoods into a 25 minute drunken odyssey around Grand Forks' busiest, most heavily police-populated streets, just because some girl is an idiot?

I vote number 2. Girl A, needless to say, votes for number 1.

Happy NBA draft day, everyone. It's bad enough that I am in GF and not watching with DVJS, but SOMEBODY had to have their wedding rehearsal dinner tonight, so I am probably not watching at all. With the possibility of 5 Jayhawks getting drafted (somebody take my boy Darnell Jackson, you won't regret it!) plus the potential of numerous trades and surprise picks, this will probably be the most exciting draft in years. This is the worst-timed wedding since Alex's sister got married during the 2007 Final 4.