American League Preview '07

To answer your question, after seeing my shirt and tie, yes, Roy Williams did ask me to join his staff as an assistant coach. I said no and told him to fuck himself. He announced a press conference and cried. On to baseball:

AL EAST:

1. New York Yankees: As biased as I am, I still think they will take the division. They might not be well set up for October, when pitching takes over, but this lineup is stupid good. You can have shitty pitching when you score 7 runs a game.

2. Boston Red Sox: On paper, this team is LOADED. If this were a season in a video game with the injuries turned off, they go all the way. Questions abound, though: Will everyone stay healthy? Will Drew and Lugo fold in Boston's pressure cooker? Will Dice-K be as good as advertised? Will Papelbon's shoulder hold up? Is Varitek done as a hitter? Will Pedroia play like he should be in the big leagues? Yikes. Let's talk in October. They could have the best record in baseball or be in 3rd in the division.

3. Toronto Blue Jays: I almost feel bad for them. Almost. One of the many, many AL teams that wish they were in the NL.

4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays: Great young nucleus, led by Kazmir and Crawford, who routinely kill the Sox. Maybe someday they can compete with the top of the division.

5. Baltimore Orioles: Throwing money at big names hasn't worked. Time for a youth movement.

AL CENTRAL:

1. Detroit Tigers: With everyone pimping the Tribe, the Tigers, who only went out and added Gary Sheffield to the AL champs, have been forgotten. Fuck that.

2. Cleveland Indians: I refuse to jump on their bandwagon. Refuse. Partly because I am bitter because back in 2002, I predicted them to take the big leap in 2005, and they didn't, and now everyone says this is the year. And partly because it is tough to watch Trot in a Cleveland uniform.

3. Minnesota Twins: The second half of last year was the result of every single player on the 25-man roster playing to the maximum of their potential. That will not happen again. And oh yeah, Liriano is out all year.

4. Chicago White Sox: Year 2 of the "2005 Was A Giant Fluke" era.

5. Kansas City Royals: Year 21 of the "1985 Was So Long Ago" era.

AL WEST:

1. Los Angeles Angels: Santana and Kendrick take the leap, and watch them get a big name at the deadline to wrap up the division.

2. Oakland A's: They can't make another ridiculous run in August with an overmatched roster after losing another star in the off-season, can they? Can they?!?!

3. Texas Rangers: Some talent, and the rotation will be better...but Eric Gagne? Sammy Sosa? Frank Cattalonoto? These are not the acquisitions that puts a team into the playoffs. The "Sign Kenny Lofton and Win the Wild Card" theory only applies to the National League.

4. Seattle Mariners: Nope.

MVP: David Ortiz. Would've won it last year if the team didn't get hurt and fall apart. Would've won it in '05 if the voters weren't gay. Runner-up: Travis Hafner.

Cy Young: Jeremy Bonderman. Runner-up: Dice-K.

Rookie of the Year: Alex Gordon. Runner-up: B.J. Upton. Umm, wait...does Dice-K count?

Most Improved: Howie Kendrick. Runner-up: Josh Barfield.

Biggest fall-offs: Frank Thomas, Jermaine Dye, Michael Cuddyer.

PLAYOFFS:

Detroit over Boston, New York over Los Angeles.
Detroit over New York.
But hopefully Boston over everybody.