Could you close that window? I think I feel a Draft in here...

To the right are my friend Danny (playing the role of David Stern) and I, celebrating me being selected by the New York Knicks with the 61st pick overall. Seriously, though, I wouldn't have been that bad of a pick for the Knicks compared to the selection of Ronaldo Balkman at #20. I can't really even get that pissed about it cause I knew it would happen. I know Isaiah has been a good drafter, but he is in full-on sabotage mode right now. Anyways, my take on the draft:

THE WINNERS

Chicago: Tyrus Thomas will be great. The tourney was no fluke, and watch for his jumper to develop. The fact they were able to make the trade with Portland and pick up a player just to get the guy they wanted anyway is icing on the cake. Plus a black guy with cornrows from Switzerland has to be sweet.

Houston: Trading Rudy Gay for Shane Battier, despite what the analysts say, is a great move. Battier would've been the #1 pick in this shitty draft. Besides, you already have T-Mac on your team, and you can't have more than one player on your roster who doesn't care about anything. Unless you're Miami, I guess.

Portland: A little stupid with the trades, but if you end up with LaMarcus Aldridge and Brandon Roy, that can't be a bad draft.

THE LOSERS

Toronto: If you have the #1 pick in the draft and you end up with a skinny Euro who averages 10 points and 7 rebounds a game, you're brutal. They also broke my rule of never draft a player who plays with hair gel in his hair. I bet of their selections, PJ Tucker becomes more valuable to them. We'll see.

New York: What can you say? I can't wait to start cheering for Knick losses this year.

Seattle: Saer Sene, Denham Brown, Yotam Helperin. Suh-weet.

SLEEPERS:

Quincy Douby, Shannon Brown, Dee Brown, PJ Tucker, Craig Smith

GUYS WHO PEOPLE THINK ARE GOOD BUT REALLY SUCK:

Andrea Bargnini, Josh Boone, Rudy Gay, Cedric Simmons

HOW DID THEY GET DRAFTED? CAN I GET DRAFTED?

Paul Davis, James Augustine, Steve Novak, Will Blalock

HOW DID THEY NOT GET DRAFTED?

Mike Gansey, Taquan Dean

AREN'T YOU HAPPY YOU CAME OUT EARLY FOR THIS?

Daniel Gibson, Thomas Gardner, Curtis Stinson, Darius Washington

OK that's enough bashing of guys who are way better than me at basketball. Props to the Sox for cheering Pedro, then shelling him. 11 in a row. Tomorrow it's off to Morris, Minnesota to see Chelsey and Mike tie the knot. Let's dust off the ol' dancin' shoes.